Exhaust Life
November 13, 2009
Last Saturday morning at the Vanguard Conference held at RDS, Ronnie Lott spoke to an audience of over 100 students, parents, and faculty from a wide range of Bay Area independent schools. He was masterful. Lott, a former superstar for the San Francisco 49ers and member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, eschewed the typical pro athlete speech - talking about their various exploits and adventures on the playing field and in the locker room. Rather, Lott gave a heartfelt message about how one lives life. In this regard, he had two important messages from which we can all benefit. First, I must describe his introductory remarks, which were not planned and were inspirational.
Quite simply, with the reality of raising three children of his own and a schedule that leaves him in high demand around the world, Lott lost sight of the logistics for Saturday's conference. While he was scheduled to kick off the conference at 9:00 a.m., he had in his mind that he wasn't speaking until 11:00 a.m. So when I spoke to him on the phone at 9:15, the panic was audible in his voice: "I blew it! I'll get there as soon as I can!" Ray Wilson, who was in charge of the conference, stayed calm. "No problem, we'll just move the workshops around, and Ronnie can talk before lunch." And he did.
When Ronnie stood in front of the audience, rather than make light of his honest mistake, he apologized, profusely and sincerely. "I did not bring my greatness here this morning. That is not right, and it is not respectful to all of you here today. I don't have any excuses; it was my fault and for that I apologize." Instantly, you could feel the room change as it became more intimate and accepting. It was the powerful effect of a real apology - in this case a Hall of Fame athlete humbling himself to an audience primarily of middle school and high school students. More than this, however, he showed us all how to apologize and simultaneously retain pride and dignity. It was as beautiful as any interception he made while playing for the 49ers.
Ronnie's two themes of the day - exhaust life and compete - were built upon that foundation of self-honesty laid in his opening remarks. He encouraged students to exhaust life: try everything and always do your best. He extolled the virtues of competing, with others, and yourself. His examples were rich. He even joked that he knew the kids were expecting stories about professional football so they were probably getting tired of this guy going on about life - though every student I looked at was fully engaged.
In his professional football career, Ronnie was legendary for how hard he worked and his ability to consistently do what other players did not think was possible. Yet on this day in our Middle School Multipurpose Room he chose to share stories about when he didn't do his best, when he was intimidated by other students' success in school, about when he fell victim rather than standing strong in the face of adversity.
He brilliantly pulled out the best in the students. After asking one senior what was in his heart, he listened patiently and persistently. When with his support the student dug deeper and opened up by saying "a passion for art," Ronnie's smile filled the room and his joy was like a healing salve. "Good for you! Now you have to stick with this. Work at it. Don't let other people's doubts get in your way.... And you're lucky, you know your passion when most others don't. I didn't at your age." It was that kind of morning and day.
Driving away and reflecting on the morning, I couldn't help but feel a deep pride for RDS. Because what Ronnie did in his talk is what our teachers and staff do everyday at RDS: encourage students to give their best and take risks. Just as important, like Ronnie, they teach and model how to take responsibility in life.
Have a great weekend!
Mike