Home ›

Mike's Letters

In just a few more days, your children will formally Step Up from their current grade to the next. It's a big moment. For many of us, this event pulls together the entire year in a flood of emotion - pride, loss, excitement, relief, joy - that catches us by surprise each year.

Additionally, seconds after Step-Up, the reality of summer vacation is upon us - our kids' summer vacation that is. If you have been at RDS for a while, you know that the School believes in a developmental approach to learning and growth. Inherent in this philosophy is the need for rest and downtime. That time is now upon your children.

A great summer for a child is one in which they experience periodic bouts of boredom, only to resolve this challenge through their own creativity.

  • The bike, that when the back tire is propped up over a patch of dirt and the pedals are turned quickly, is transformed into a dust machine
  •  The dolls that are set about a room while your child sits on the bed reading and showing pictures to the class of "students"
  • The shooting of baskets that transforms into Game 7 of the NBA championships, with your child as announcer, home and visiting teams, and maker of the winning basket.
  • The stick, that when outfitted with a stray piece of yarn, becomes the bow with which to hunt wild game in the hallway.

Summer is the time for lots of physical and imaginative exercise. Some electronics are not bad; camps are good; reading is always great; and down time with nothing to do is priceless. Your role, however, can be tricky. Your child's first defense against boredom is to nag you to allow them to watch television/play on the computer/hunker down with their Ninetendo DS, or text friends on their cell phone. You must periodically resist, which in turn fuels them to even greater heights of nagging. And once they realize your resolve is solid, well, begrudgingly they will begin to exercise their own imaginations. When this happens you will see them become fully immersed and engaged with whatever they are creating. For a parent and educator, these are moments of heightened beauty - don't miss them....  And, if you have some vacation time this summer, why not give it a try yourself!

Have a great summer!

Mike

P.S.  For astute readers of the Friday Folder, you have no doubt recalled that my end-of-year letter last year was entitled "Free Range Parenting," which was not so very different than today's letter. Guess you can tell where my mind and imagination are at this time of year!

P.P.S During my time at RDS, I have received a fair number of positive comments about the letters I write in the Friday Folder - on both content and style. While I appreciate the feedback, I think it important to note that much of the credit is shared with Beth Frankland who has edited every single one of these letters. As any author knows, a good editor makes for a much better writer, and that is definitely the case. Thank you, Beth -- I will miss your editing acumen and how good you have made me look these past six years.                                                                     Mike

In time-honored tradition, last night we held the Board of Trustees' annual Hail & Farewell event. Falling somewhere between a retirement party, a commencement, and a Vegas-style roast, the evening is our chance to honor those who are leaving the Board and to thank them for their tireless service in steering the good ship Redwood Day. We say a fond and grateful farewell this year to Janie Green, Pat Scott, Darlene Fujii, and Faculty Trustee Leah Aguilera, all of whom have brought great insight and thoughtfulness and breathtaking generosity to their work as Trustees.

We also welcomed five new Trustees last night, thanking them in advance for the hours (and hours...) of service that lie ahead for them. We cloak the event in humor, hint not-so-subtly at the weeks of their lives that will soon be consumed by budget analysis, strategic planning, and annual audit reviews but, in truth, we cannot begin to express our appreciation for the commitment that they make and for the depth of talent that they bring to the Board:

  • Margaret Gee (third- and seventh-grade parent) brings broad perspective as both a parent and an alumna and the insights that come with having led the Parents' Association. Margaret is Director of Neighborhood Development & Communications for the Bay Area Local Initiatives Support Corporation, responsible for neighborhood community development programs, as well as fundraising and communications. She was formerly Assistant Director for the East Bay Asian Local Development Corporation and has worked as Managing Director and CFO for the Chinatown Community Development Center. Margaret graduated from the University of California, Berkeley with a B.S. in Business Administration. 
  • Bill Owens (second-grade and kindergarten parent) is a renaissance man and something of a rocket scientist. Currently the VP of Finance and Product Strategy at SunRun Inc., the leading provider of US residential solar financing, he was previously co-founder and CFO of Mile Rock Partners, an alternative investment firm. Bill has held senior positions in finance, product management, marketing and business strategy at Nuance Communications, OnLive! Technologies, HJ Heinz, Oracle, Apple and Bain. He has a B.S.E. in Aerospace Engineering from Princeton and an M.S. in Engineering-Economic Systems from Stanford.
  • Alison Townley (fifth-grade parent) will be the first two-time Olympian to join the Board, and we are looking for the most appropriate way to apply her amazing rowing prowess to our work as a team! She is an independent marketing consultant and an investment and strategic partner in a travel industry start-up. Alison is a Harvard graduate with over 15 years of experience launching new brands, revitalizing flagship brands, and developing strategic brand plans at companies such as Master Card, L'Oreal and Chevron.
  • Dirk van Grotenhuis and his family will be new to the RDS fifth grade in the fall, and he is eager to share his deep background in not-for-profit finance with us. An expert in tax-exempt bond financing, he has led over 100 separate bond issues for K-12 independent schools, higher education institutions, and social service agencies. Dirk served on the board of Park Day School for three years and was also their Finance Chair. He holds a B.S. in Finance from Georgetown and an M.B.A. from Berkeley's Haas School of Business.
  • Vicky Green (second-grade teacher and sixth-grade parent) will be the newest Faculty Trustee, elected by her peers to provide important liaison between the Board and the faculty.

The new Board Chair for 2010-11 will be Dan Whalen, who has served as a Trustee for over a decade and is both an alumni parent and former faculty spouse. In addition to knowing RDS inside-out and backwards, Dan has enormous experience leading educational institutions and was interim president of Saint John's University in Minnesota from 2008-09. Beyond that, there are very, very few people who have had a greater beneficial impact on the health of the Bay Area than Dan Whalen, and this is no exaggeration. He will be ably assisted by the Board's Executive Committee for 2010-11: Deborah Sosebee (1st Vice Chair), Warren Hogg (Vice Chair), Mike Kass (Vice Chair), Robert Menicucci (Finance Chair), and Ellen Jaffe (Secretary).
 
As for myself, I am stepping down after nine years as a Trustee and seven years as Chair of the Board. Seven years is a very long time to be a Board chair, my friends who are board chairs of other institutions tell me. But the time has gone by in what feels like an instant. Still, the time has also simply come for me to move on. I say "simply," but there is nothing very simple about my feelings for my adopted school-and the school that so graciously adopted me. Though I never had a child of my own attend Redwood Day, the School has been almost like another child to me and it has been both an honor and a joy to see it mature and develop such strength in the last decade: academically, financially, purposefully. We have been very fortunate indeed at RDS to enjoy the benefits of the absolutely brilliant leadership on the part of a first-rate staff and a faculty. 
 
Boards continually grow and change, as they should, just as all institutions and all human beings grow and change. At the same time, we prize continuity and stability; most of this year's Board will return. Led by our extraordinary Head of School Mike Riera, we will continue to pursue our dreams. Year after year, what becomes increasingly transparent to all of us who have served or who will serve on the Board is that there is so much for us to celebrate at this remarkable school. This is why we strive to live up to your trust. As welcome summer arrives and beckons us to rest and rejuvenate, I hope that we can pause to be thankful for all we have and all we are always becoming at Redwood Day School.
 
Finally, thank you for your support and your friendship to me over the years. I will never forget it, and I will never forget you and the School. Thank you.
 
Sincerely yours,
 
 
Joseph Di Prisco
Chair, Board of Trustees (2003-2010)
diprisco@diprisco.com

From the Head of Schoolmike
Dear RDS Families,
 
I add these comments to Joe's letter as an honoring for all that Joe has done for RDS in his capacity as a member of the Board of Trustees for nine years, seven of those as Board Chair.  Joe is distinguished by not only his multiple accomplishments as Chair - award- winning buildings, increased student enrollment, K-12 vision, fundraising records - but also by the fact that he is the only Board Chair in RDS's rich history who has never had a child attend RDS. He simply fell in love with the School and could not stay away.  And we are a much finer institution as a result. 
 
Throughout his tenure, Joe has been relentless in his pursuit of excellence - within the Board and across the entire school. His educational vision and interpersonal depth have inspired many a board member, so bidding him farewell is bittersweet. Amidst many speakers and several standing ovations at his Board farewell this week, Joe stood tall and gracious, as always. So on behalf of all of RDS, thank you, Joe.
 
Mike
 
On a very different note, I want to let everyone know that we have hired a new Senior Executive Administrator to follow in the elegant shoes of Beth Frankland: Derek Clark. You already know Derek from his role in the RDS front office, so the transition will be exceedingly smooth.  Derek will take on his new responsibilties in late June, and we will be hiring a new Front Office Coordinator this summer.

This week middle school students and faculty were away from campus on their outdoor education trips. It's a fabulous time for students, when both environmental learning and relationship skills deepen. They learn a lot about themselves, as well as how to look out for one another. Each grade does this in a setting where the environment is front and center: sixth grade at Pinnacles, seventh grade at Whitsett in the western Sierra, and eighth grade on Catalina Island. As we look forward to and celebrate these huge outward adventures, it is easy to miss the growth - which is equally significant - that is happening on campus this same week with our lower school students.
 
While middle schoolers are away, fifth-graders eagerly explore the middle school during their various breaks - this will soon be their new home and they are, in many ways, trying it on away from the prying eyes of older students. On Tuesday evening, the lower school took over the campus for the annual Lower School Art and Music Night. The art adorning the Gallery walls and the three-dimensional pieces in the library were captivating. The string ensemble and the Lower School Chorus kept the momentum going, and more than a few adults in attendance commented the next day that they fell asleep singing "Octopus's Garden" to themselves. Cindy Nelson and Gina Ali have worked closely with students all year long, through the mediums of art and music, and it was beautiful to see students pointing with pride at their art pieces and performing with joy for family and friends.
 
The assembly this week was a living example of the entire week. We began with a rendition of "Peter and The Wolf," enacted by Ms. Ali's students from the after-school class "Music on the Stage" (primarily kindergartners, with a few first- and second-graders). The performance was great, and these young students had the entire lower school engaged.  Jan Clitherow's first-graders then shared with us some of the songs they are singing at their Spaghetti Fest this Friday night - in honor of their families. Again, the performance was wonderful.
 
One of the songs the first-graders sang, which had to do with expressing gratitude, inspired me to improvise a full lower school exercise. I had each student think of three things for which they were grateful. They then partnered with another student from a different grade.  (Yes, this part was chaotic, bordering on anarchistic!) Sitting down with partners, they went back and forth - telling each other what they were grateful for. I overheard more than a few gems: my dad for making my lunch everyday, my family, my grandmother getting better from being sick, and my favorite: such a great school to come to every day.
 
It was a quintessential lower school assembly, and I urge you to take advantage of its message. If your child is in lower school, ask him or her what they shared Wednesday that they were grateful for, and then tell them a couple of the things you are grateful for. If your child is in middle school, on the way home from outdoor ed pick-up, tell them what you are grateful for and then ask them the same. My hunch is that you will be pleasantly surprised.
 
Speaking of things for which to be grateful, we are happy to announce that both Emily and Rhonda, who left just two weeks ago on maternity leave, gave birth this week to healthy boys. Congratulations!
 
Have a great weekend!

Mike

Comings and Goings

I recognize the markers. Earlier this week we had our "Kindergarten Playdate," the event to which we invite to campus all of next year's kindergartners. It occurs during the last couple of hours of school, and they get to meet and play with current kindergartners as well as one another. This morning we had the new lower school students on campus, and new middle school students will join us this evening for a potluck to begin their RDS orientation. And each day, eighth-graders are arriving to school clothed in sweatshirts and t-shirts bearing the logos of their new high schools. All together, it's a sign that it is once again time for our annual Comings and Goings letter.

I always write this letter with mixed emotions: saying goodbye is sad; saying hello is exciting. This year, we have added a layer to the mix by having departing faculty and staff write in their own words what they are up to next. I will also tell you a bit about the new folks who will be joining us next year.

Jeff Wieler, CFO & Assistant Head of School: "After 14 years it's time for me to hang it up and retire. I'll be focusing on the Piedmont City Council, my column for the Piedmont Post, and a daunting backlog of home and garden work. Other than Roger Thomas and Arturo Navarro, I have more years of continuous service in the same position than anybody else at RDS. Longevity has its advantages, but so also does fresh blood and new ideas. I've seen RDS nearly double in size and vastly increase its academic and financial strength, and I look forward to watching yet more improvements. It's been a grand 14 years."
 
...and introducing... our new CFO, Na'eem Salaam, who comes to us with diverse experience in the not-for-profit world: three years as the Executive Director and CFO of the Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation; a year as the Managing Director of the Glide Foundation; a Director of Special Projects at TROSA in Durham, NC; and as one of the founders of Downtown College Prep Charter School in San Jose. Na'eem will officially join us in mid-June and work side-by-side with Jeff through the annual audit and summer projects.
 
Warren Sepkowitz, Middle School Director & Assistant Head of School: "I have really enjoyed being part of the Middle School team. Beginning in July, I will be the middle school director at Charlotte Country Day in North Carolina, a K-12 school where Emma and Amos will be able to attend. We will miss Redwood Day, the Bay Area, and our friends here, but are looking forward to being closer to family, and reconnecting to our Temple and our friends in Charlotte. Special thanks to Mike for giving me an opportunity to serve this community."
 
... and introducing... our new Middle School Director & Assistant Head of School, Clarence Perkins, who has worked in independent schools since 1991 as a teacher, dean, middle school director, and upper school director, most recently as High School Division Director at Trevor Day School and before that as Head of Upper School (grades 5-8) at The Cathedral School of St. John the Divine, both in New York City. He has led initiatives on faculty evaluation, school accreditation, environmental sustainability, diversity, and curriculum mapping. Clarence and his family will  relocate across the country this summer, with his freshly-minted Doctor of Education diploma from Teachers College at Columbia University.
 
Diane Johnson, Director of Outreach, Admissions, & Financial Aid: "This will be a bittersweet departure for me. I have loved my time at Redwood Day School and my work in admissions. It the right time for me to be with my family and to pursue my many passions in retirement. It has been a privilege to work here and a pleasure to know the children, families, and colleagues that are the RDS community. Thank you all."
 
... and introducing... our new Director of Admissions, Cheryl Ting. Most recently the Director of Admissions for the Upper School at Bentley, Cheryl has been an educator for many years and has held a wide range of positions at Lick-Wilmerding and Bentley: English Teacher, Department Chair, Dean of Multicultural Affairs, Class Dean, and Director of WASC/CAIS Accreditation. She will be joining RDS as both an administrator and a parent.
 
... and introducing... our not-so-new, but newly re-titled Associate Director of Admissions & Director of Financial Aid, Katrina Lappin. With special responsibility for financial aid now a part of her portfolio, Katrina brings important continuity and deep affinity for our RDS community to our admission team.
 
Ray Wilson, Upper School Director: "It is with mixed emotion that I let you know that I have accepted the position of Middle School Director at Park Day School. My time at RDS as your colleague and as a parent has been both rewarding and refreshing. I am sure that our paths will continue to cross over the course of next year because Perry will continue on in 5th grade at RDS in the fall. Thank you all for your support throughout the past year and half with regards to the high school expansion plans. Your kind words of encouragement, empathy, and gratitude as the plans were delayed are an indication of the caring and supportive community that makes up RDS."
 
Beth Frankland, Sr. Executive Administrator and Assistant to the Head of School: "There have been many changes since I arrived at RDS in 2001, but the spirit, the dedication by the adults to your kids and their education, and the sense of community have not changed. Sometimes I think I'm crazy to leave this job, but I feel the tug to try something new, and have decided to act on it. Not sure yet what path I will follow, but I know that I will take with me wisdom and experience that I gained during my time at RDS. This is an amazing place. I am honored to have been a part of it. Many thanks."
[We are in the middle of the hiring process for Beth's replacement - if, in fact, Beth is replaceable. We doubt that she is!]
 
Tontra Love, Kindergarten Teacher: "It is so hard to say goodbye to a community who has embraced me these past five years. I know I have become a better person because of my time here, and I hope I have touched your lives like you have touched mine. I have applied to Oakland and Berkeley Unified School Districts in hopes to be accepted into their principal in training programs. I am hoping to hear back by July. It is a big change, but I hope stay connected to the community that I cherish. Thank you for everything. And stay in touch!"
 
...and introducing... kindergarten teacher Kevin Wood. Kevin has seven years of teaching experience in progressive schools, both independent and public, in New York City. He holds a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education and a Masters of Fine Arts and has had a variety of life experiences including touring the South with an a cappella group, hiking in Wyoming, and teaching ice skating.
 
As many of you know, kindergarten teacher Emily Freedman has gone on maternity leave, and we eagerly await word of a new arrival. Emily has decided to stay home and spend more time with this newest member of her family and will be missed by all of us
 
...Emily's long-term sub, Emily Hedges, will be staying on in the fall as a full-fledged RDS kindergarten teacher. As a Certified Educational Therapist, Emily brings a wealth of experience in teaching students with a wide range of learning styles. Many of you already know Emily from her time as an intern with Kim and Tontra from 2007 to 2009. She completed her Masters in Education with an emphasis in Educational Therapy this spring.

We also say farewell to a number of our fabulous interns who are all going on to deepen their educational roots. I'd like to think that RDS inspired them; I know that they've certainly inspired us:
 
Paris Christopher: "Since I stepped on the Redwood Day School campus, I have felt a part of a great community of people. What I will miss most are the smiles of all of the children who greeted me every morning. I have spent the last year finishing my Masters of Arts with an emphasis in Teaching at Mills College, and I am currently in search for a classroom teaching position."
 
Richard Dahl: "After only one year RDS, I am sad to say good-bye. I feel lucky to have been a part of such a supportive community and will miss the staff, teachers, and students from whom I've learned so much. I'll be moving back to Sacramento to attend UC Davis to get my Teaching Credential/M.A. Hopefully I'll be back in Oakland in a couple of years. See you then!"
 
Hallie Hester: "I have had the great fortune to work with and learn from an amazing team of educators at RDS, who have offered endless support and encouragement. I have truly enjoyed getting to know so many amazing families; I hold the relationships I've formed with my students close to my heart. This fall I will begin the Teaching Credential/ M.A. in Education program at UC Davis. Thank you for a great two years!"
 
Carrie Klein: "I've been a third-grade intern for two wonderful years and will miss this community very much. I have learned a whole lot more about Oakland history than I ever knew before, and I actually think I could now build a simple machine in my sleep. I've also learned a great deal about the hard work involved in being part of a community that is working hard to really see all its members and even more about what great teaching looks like. I have been taking classes myself in these last two years to earn my CLAD and clear my California teaching credential and hope to be a classroom teacher somewhere in this area next fall."
 
Jessie Poggi: "My plans are still a bit up in the air -- such is life!  I will either complete my MFA in creative nonfiction writing at St. Mary's, from which I deferred several years ago, or I will begin a Masters of Education focusing on Urban Education and Social Justice. Frankly, I am excited about both, so wherever I land, I look forward to a great year. Working at RDS has been a wonderful experience from which I have gleaned a great deal of knowledge and experience. I am grateful to have been a part of this community."

Finally, the annual ritual of saying goodbye and hello reminds me of the great Stone Soup project that happens in kindergarten each year: all our departing colleagues, through their unique talents and viewpoints have brought rich, robust flavor - and a fair share of spice! - to our RDS "soup." They leave us with an amazing recipe for what it means to be a school and a community that prepares students to lead rich intellectual and emotional lives. Our new colleagues will soon enough add their own seasonings to the blend, but now is the time to savor what we have.
 
All of us at RDS are so grateful for having had the chance to work as colleagues and friends with those who are leaving. Thank you.
 
Have a great weekend!
 
Mike

Wednesday was the annual Head-for-the-Day and Division-Director-for-the-Day for the students whose families won the raffle at the auction. This year, our heads were Nelao Niesar, Lower  School Director; Joe Hamilton, Middle  School Director; and Raquel Butner, Head of School. Over the course of the day, they visited classrooms, helped lead the assembly, and met with the Department Heads. At the Department Head meeting, the students helped me come up with an agenda, to which they added some interesting observations and insights. Here are a few that stood out.
  • For students new to RDS in sixth grade, they suggested pairing all current sixth-graders up as buddies, so that the new students have more than one buddy and all the current sixth-graders would be included. They also suggested a group event to which all buddies are invited.
  • Last Friday, there was a mix-up with our regular pizza delivery, and Round Table graciously came to the rescue within the hour. There was consensus among the three students that they prefer Round Table pizza to our current vendor. To this end, they will suggest that next year's Student Council takea poll (or maybe even a taste test) to select next year's pizza vendor. They also understand that price is a variable -- a couple even showed some keen negotiation skills in this arena!
  • In Lower School, they liked that last Friday, while waiting for pizza, they got to play before eating lunch. Nelao reported that this was what was done at her old school and that it worked well.  From the environmental perspective, Meredith Spencer noted that when schools have recess before lunch, there is generally a significant reduction in waste, up to 30% in some cases -- because kids eat more of their lunch. Denise Breland has been considering this change for next year and will look into the details, with Nelao as her consultant. 
As always, it was a wonderful day interacting with the students, and in my case, I learned a lot about the School from the student perspective after spending time with Raquel.   One of the items that also came up with the students was ERB testing next week (the Educational Records Bureau standardized test). These tests make them nervous and a little anxious, which overall is not a bad thing - as long as it is in moderation and at the right developmental level.  Let me explain. At RDS, we use the ERBs for a variety of reasons:
  • On a basic level, as a member of the National Association of Independent Schools, the annual use of the ERBs is required. This year, for the first time, NAIS has softened this requirement just a bit, but RDS will continue to use the test and has been using it since we became an NAIS school in the early 1990s.
  • We use the ERBs as another lens on our curriculum. While not all material on the tests is necessarily covered in the classroom (we definitely don't "teach to the test"), teachers can look at those lessons that have been taught and go through the tests, question by question, to see how their students fared. This is valuable feedback as teachers can see how deeply their lessons stuck with their students.  
  • As students take these tests over time, we also use the results as one means of identifying learning differences in our students. That is, if a pattern emerges which shows a significant disparity between a student's classroom performance and ERB scores, this could lead us to look deeper for some type of learning difference -- often having to do with processing speed. This in turn leads some students to get formal evaluations which allow them to take tests with extended time throughout their education. The better we understand a student's profile, the better job we can do in engaging them in their ongoing development.
  • Over the years, from third grade on, we use the tests as a means of gradually teaching students how to take standardized tests and to become familiar and more comfortable with the process. In their student lives, for better or worse, standardized tests are a reality: high school placement tests, SATs, and various professional exams. To this end, teachers are not asked to spend a lot of time preparing our students for the ERBs; it's recursive familiarity that naturally grows over time.  At the beginning of eighth grade, however, we offer our students an after-school class, specifically designed to help them do better on all standardized tests, in particular the high school placement tests many of them take that fall.  And given the high numbers of our eighth-graders getting into their first choice of high schools, I think we are doing a great job in this area.
Finally, at this time of year, parents and guardians often ask what they can do to prepare their children for these tests.  Here are a few simple suggestions:
  1. Students should get to bed early or at least at their regular bedtime. A good night's sleep makes a big difference on these tests.
  2. Make sure they eat a healthy breakfast and are not rushing out of the house on the mornings of the tests.
  3. A few days before the test, ask your children if they have any thoughts or feelings about the process. Most are nervous, even though they may be slow to acknowledge these feelings. (For parents/guardians of younger children, this is a great opportunity to share a time in your life when you were feeling the same way.)  
  4. Encourage them simply to work their hardest and do their best. Yes, the tests are important, but they are not anywhere near as important as the daily work in their classrooms at RDS.
Have a nice weekend, and special thanks to Raquel, Nelao, and Joe for a wonderful day. Mike
 The last lap of the mile run is always the most interesting. This is when your legs scream with fatigue, side stitches appear (and sometimes disappear), adrenaline kicks in, the competitive spirit comes alive. And in a great last lap, you cross the line exhausted - having spent your all in the last kick. Each year, after Spring Break, I stare at my calendar in disbelief, and feel the exhilaration and shock upon entering the last lap of the year. It hits me suddenly: "The year is almost over!" Somehow, each year, this fact manages to sneak up on me. Then when I look at the calendar, and particularly the list of upcoming events - science fairs, art and music evenings, ERBs, Ashkenaz concert, athletic banquet, spring musical, outdoor ed trips, Thank You Assembly, Goodbye Assembly, Step-Up, graduation - I feel the lactic acid building in my legs.  At some point this week or during Spring Break, just about every teacher put side-by-side a school calendar and their curriculum. Most noted, with alarm, that there aren't enough days to cover what they planned. After a brief panic, they remembered some of the paths on which they strayed from the planned curriculum. Most of the time, these moments were magical: when a class discovered a new passion or students happened upon new depths in themselves. This reflection calms teachers such that when they again look at curriculum and calendar they get creative and figure out a way to make it all work. These realities of students and teachers create a natural tension: students feeling ready to move on (and the sooner the better) and their teachers wanting to slow things down to ensure a strong finish. At home this means you are dealing with runners on their last lap of this year's mile run. This means they will have faster-changing and more varied needs than at anytime during the previous three laps: encouragement, support, down time, tough love, physical activity, extra sleep, quiet time, and your listening to episodic moments of extreme extroversion followed by prolonged periods of introversion. In terms of finishing the year strong with your child, one of your primary tasks is simple: show up. Take a second look at paragraph #2 and all the events on the horizon. Pencil them into your calendars. Granted, most of the Lower School students will not be shy about insisting on your attendance. Some of the older kids, however, may be shy about their insistence. My advice: don't ask, just show up.  Deeper though, we all know it's about more than showing up; it's showing up and staying engaged with them and their world. Take a real interest in what is unfolding and let your curiosity guide you. Ask questions, even if they don't respond. Focus on their efforts and hard work, their perseverance. Your questions and observations help them to reflect on themselves, which, in turn leads them to owning, with pride, all their accomplishments, attention, and passion throughout the year. These events give you the opportunity to bond with your children in their world and on their terms. Every one of the events mentioned above is designed to shine the light on different strengths of our students and your children. Metaphorically, this is when their name is called as they make the turn into their last lap. And in all last laps, nothing is more important than the encouragement of friends and family. For proof of this, when you attend these upcoming events, look closely into the eyes of the other adults - parents, guardians, faculty, and staff; chances are that you will glimpse a fair share of moist eyes because there are few things more moving than watching a child or adolescent claim their intellectual, emotional, and social growth in these last lap moments. Have a great weekend. And I hope that many of you will show up to see many of our talented musicians at Ashkenaz on Sunday! Mike 

March 26, 2010
 
In a fascinating research experiment[1],two groups of college students were invited to participate in a study whichthey were told was about taste sensations and memory. Upon entering the room where a fresh batch ofchocolate chip cookies had just been baked and the aroma filled the air, theysat at a table with the cookies, a sampling of chocolates, and a bowl offreshly-cut radishes. Group I was told to eat a few cookies and a fewchocolates, but no radishes. Group IIwas told to eat a few radishes, but no cookies or chocolates. Somewhatsurprisingly, both groups followed the instructions to the letter.
 
Both groups, upon completion of the above, immediatelyparticipated in a second study, ostensibly to test their problem-solvingskills. Each group was given a series ofpuzzles that required them to trace a complicated geometric shape withoutlifting their pencils, and each participant was given plenty of paper for repeatedattempts to solve the puzzle. What theresearchers did not tell the participants was that the puzzles wereunsolvable. Welcome to the world ofsocial psychology research!
 
The results were fascinating. The participants who ate the cookies and thechocolates, on average, spent nineteen minutes on task and made thirty-four attempts at solutions, whereas the radish-eaters worked only eight minutes andmade just nineteen attempts. Does thismean that we all work harder and better after eating cookies andchocolates?  Not really, so put the lidback on the cookie jar, for now.
 
What researchers were really testing was self-control, ormore specifically, the depletion of self-control.  That is, the radish eaters had to exercisehuge amounts of self-control to only eat radishes and not to sneak afreshly-baked cookie or tempting chocolate. On the other hand, the cookie- and chocolate-eaters did not have toexercise much, if any, self-control - unless, of course, they were those rarehuman beings that prefer radishes over cookies and chocolate. Therefore, researchers postulated, the reasonthe radish-eaters did so poorly in the problem-solving was that they had ashortage of the self-control it takes to stay focused on a difficult task,especially compared to the chocolate and cookie eaters. What they concluded is that self-control is afinite resource.
 
Of course, parents, guardians, and teachers have intuitivelyknown this all along. This is one of thereasons we have plenty of recess and breaks during the school day: to balance the self-control needed in theclassroom with the modest amount needed on the playground. 
 
There is a great deal to learn from this study in terms ofhow we work with and assess our kids from moment to moment over the course of aday. For example, this is why many kidswho are picked up directly after school may not be successful in harnessing theself-control needed to get right to their homework upon arriving at home. Similarly, this is why many, after free playat X-Care, may easily shift into attending to their schoolwork when they arrivehome.
 
Further, this research invites us to look at the rhythm ofour kids' days. That is, to make surethe activities that require focused self-control (practicing a musicalinstrument, doing homework) are preceded and followed by activities that do notrequire much self-control (playing a computer game, listening to music). This also means activities that require lotsof self-control should not occur at night, when kids are tired and naturallylagging in this resource. It also means that it is not wise to push kidsthrough that last bit of homework when their self-control is depleted - if you doso, it will end in lost tempers and frustrated exchanges. Instead, if weunderstand the need to replenish self-control, then suggesting a break (or evenstopping all together) makes both intuitive and cognitive sense to us.
 
All to say - your kids have been working hard through thewinter, and now that spring has sprung, let them have time this weekend andover the spring break to run a bit freer and looser so that their reserves ofself-control are replenished for the final stretch heading into June.
 
Have a great weekend,
 
 
Mike
 
PS: If you are really daring, take some time to considerapplying this research to an area where you are craving self-improvement, forexample, diet or physical fitness. Thisresearch makes it quite clear: make sure you don't deplete your self-control,or your results will be short-lived. 
 
[1]This research is from an article that appeared in a 1998 issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychologyby Roy F. Baumeister, Ellen Bratslavsky, Mark Muraven and Dianne M. Tice. Ifirst learned of this research from a citation in the recently-released Switch: How To Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath.

March 19, 2010

In a recent article that appeared in the New York Times, "Evidence That Little Touches Do Mean So
Much," writer Benedict Carey cites research
that proves something we all know: that appropriate touch between
friends and
family members more than just feels good, it is literally good for us.

 

Over the years, words, and the meanings associated with
them, change - sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Touch
is a word that has suffered the latter,
which is unfortunate for us and for our children. Just think back to
AT&T's Advertising Slogan Hall of Fame jingle
- "Reach Out and Touch Someone." Back when that slogan was in
vogue, it brought a smile to the listener, but I'm pretty sure it would
not
have the desired effect these days, which is why Carey's article was
such a
welcome relief.

 

For as long as I've been in education, I have given students
a pat on the back, tussled hair, grasped an arm, bumped shoulders,
shared high
(and low) fives, even taught many how to shake hands. I have always felt
this as a means to connect
beyond words. And when I reflect on
those educators and adults who had some of the more formative influences
on me,
most of them were of a similar ilk. For
example, a dear family friend is known for his communication through
touch. A retired college professor of design, and
still a prolific artist, he was honored regularly as an exemplary
professor and
is generally revered by former students. With deep affection, many to
this day recount how he would vigorously
hold a shoulder or grasp a forearm with both of his hands. They talk
about the strength and presence he
communicated through his touches. He
unapologetically made contact with each student.  Without words, he told
them he was there for
them and he required their full focus. He got it.

 

In this article, Carey cites the relevant research, and the
conclusion is clear. From the classroom,
to the doctor's office, to the athletic fields, touch has been shown to
improve
moods, enhance performance, and build trust.
Furthermore, in one experiment where participants were blindfolded and
touched by a stranger, they "were able to communicate eight distinct
emotions,
from gratitude to disgust to love, some with about 70 percent
accuracy." 

 

The research even holds in professional sports. For example, in the NBA,
researchers
identified a high correlation between touching and winning. The two
touchiest teams - Lakers and
Celtics - were also the winners of the last two NBA championships.
(Maybe someone should forward this to Golden
State Warriors' coach Don Nelson...) 

 

All to say, I think it's about time we once again become
comfortable with appropriate touching. While it is important to respect
individual boundaries, as there are children and adults who
temperamentally do
not like to be touched, it's also vital to make sure the children in our
homes
are getting enough touches from us. And
the parents/guardians of teenagers should especially rejoice, as this
research
shows that even the smallest of touches - rubbing shoulders, a pat on
the
back - communicate what is most essential for them to know: that we love
them and
are always here for them, unconditionally.

 

Snuggle up with your loved ones and have a wonderful
weekend!

 

Mike

 

P.S. For a wonderful take on the power of touch, take a
listen to the NPR StoryCorps piece about Nathan
and Colbert Williams and a dad's
advice about holding hands.

March 12, 2010

One of the qualities we all hope for in our children is resiliency - the ability to bounce back quickly from adversity and setbacks. Furthermore, we hope these experiences also lead our children to become stronger for having gotten through them. That is, resilient behavior builds resilience.
 
In general terms, and over years of research, there are three factors closely associated with the development and maintenance of resiliency:
1.      Caring relationships
2.      High expectations that are both challenging and realistic, and that convey confidence in
         the person's abilities to succeed
3.      Ample opportunity for meaningful participation, contribution, and responsibility
 
The first two are fairly intuitive and are generally well-attended to at home and school. This translates to teachers and other adults who connect and care, and instruction that is both engaging and challenging. It takes a bit more effort to wrap our minds around how and why the third component is so vital to resiliency. Think of it this way: the practice of contributing or taking responsibility leaves our children knowing that they can make a positive difference in the world. That is, they can actively and positively influence the world around them, which is why this factor is one of the core aspects of resiliency. 
 
The sad truth, however, is that with the preponderance of traveling sports teams, personal coaching, over-scheduled extracurricular activities, and a hyper-focus on academics - at earlier ages than ever before - our children and teenagers have lost many opportunities for meaningful participation in their lives. I do not think any parent had in mind these unintended consequences of affording our children bountiful opportunities for growth and success. The costs are lost opportunities to stumble a bit, to discover creativity out of boredom, and too often, the happenchance of discovering, on one's own, something that is truly meaningful.
 
Granted, at home many children and teenagers do chores, at least in part, as a means to experience the value of contributing. For example, everyone tending to their particular chore at the end of a meal naturally builds community in families. (Yes, even when kids grumble and need seemingly infinite reminders!)  There is the sense that we are all in this together  -even though siblings are quick to point out how they are doing much more work than his or her sister or brother. 
 

"Over just a generation or two, teens were literally stripped of the meaningful roles they'd previously held, and in their stead, offered time spent mainly in classrooms and free time with their peers. Teens gradually came to recognize their new role, or lack of one. Or, as one outwardly successful teen lamented, 'I'm no good to anybody and I just cost my parents money.'"
Escaping The Endless Adolescence: How We Can Help Our Teenagers Grow Up Before They Grow Old, page 79.
Joseph Allen and Claudia Worrell Allen

 
The bottom line is that we need to support and insist that our children find places and venues to contribute to the betterment of others and to have real responsibility. It need not be monumental, just real and meaningful. The experience of making a difference inherently gives us a different vantage point on our own lives and situations. For children and teenagers, these are moments of escape from their own lives. And it's a healthy escape in that they return feeling better about themselves and generally more optimistic about life.
 
In a strange twist, this insight from the research on resilience is at the heart of Sigmund Freud's much disputed Pleasure Principle. That is, does a child care for abused dogs because they are in need or because it makes him feel better about himself, the world, and the impact he can have on others? Or does the teenager volunteer to teach religious classes at church because the younger children need to learn or because it makes her feel better about herself and the world? But really, does it matter why? 
 
Contributing in meaningful ways is the proverbial win-win situation that defies dualistic thinking. Our children can only learn this from experience, and once learned, it is never forgotten. And because no matter in what circumstances they find themselves, they can always discover ways to give back: meaningful contribution will forever remain an essential component of authentic resiliency. Keep your eyes open for what matters to your children and teenagers, and give them a slight nudge in the direction they are already leaning. Better yet, make sure they have the time to discover their leanings.
 
Have a great weekend.
 
Mike

National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS)
 
Last week, several of us from RDS had the opportunity to attend the annual NAIS Conference, which was held in San Francisco this year, with over 4,000 independent school leaders and teachers from around the country.  The conference had its share of big-name speakers and educators: Arianna Huffington, Carol Dweck, Kip Fulbeck, and Tony Wagner - to name just a few. 
 
Of the presentations I attended, there were two that really stood out.  The first was by Reveta Bowers, Head of School at The Center for Early Education, a school in LA that offers a pre-school - 6th grade program. Reveta was riveting in her speech, which, among other things, included a family history of when her parents lived in Greenwood, Oklahoma, and through the Tulsa riots of 1921, all the way to their move to Los Angeles and the adoption of three Korean orphans into her immediate family.  Reveta-her own roots including African American, White, and Native Amercan heritages-has always been the pillar of integrity and sees opportunity where others  see crisis, left us all inspired.  That day Reveta was being honored with the only award given out by NAIS-The Diversity Award.  Her professional life as an educator since 1972 and her leadership in education and diversity throughout NAIS schools is a testament to a professional life built on commitment and integrity.
 
Juan Enríquez, the founding director of Harvard Business School's Life Sciences Project and an entrepreneurial geneticist, walked us through the various codes of genetics and technology, and how they are changing our future, and the future of education, right beneath our feet.  He talked about cows in Brazil and goats in Massachusetts that have been bred to produce milk that fights certain types of cancer.  No ordinary goats and cows: each sells for just over $1,000,000.  He had the full audience of 4,000 intellectually engaged for the entire 60 minutes, which seemed to fly by.  At the end, however, he warmly embraced his audience of educators.  Speaking personally, he took a minute to thank all of us who represent NAIS, and in particular his alma mater, which he described as "an independent school that took a chance on a teenaged kid from Mexico that could speak but not write in English."  After a pause he then added, and I paraphrase here:  I am here before you today, in large part because of that experience in an independent school.  Thank you for what you did for me, and for what you continue to do for others.
 
Over the three days, I was struck by how distinct all the NAIS schools are from one another. The word "independent" does indeed resound loudly through the whole of NAIS.  But in the end, it was Juan's closing remarks that reminded us all in attendance that at heart we share the same goal, I daresay a humanistic goal, that is, through the hard work of learning and studying - from history, to math, to ethics, to arts, to athletics: our students transform themselves.  And as their teachers, we too transform ourselves.  This is one of the shared tenets between humanistic psychology and educational institutions. 
 
On Wednesday, as I greeted some of the second graders upon their return from a fieldtrip, via ferry, to the Aquarium of the Bay in San Francisco for hands-on science that included the petting of actual sharks, I was flooded with images of the day before, when I accompanied the entire middle school to the Lawrence Hall of Science to explore the "What is Race?" exhibit.  At that moment I couldn't help but think back to Reveta and Juan's presentations.  As I watched the second graders tumbling through the Gallery I wondered: Which of these students is the next Reveta or Juan?  And deeper, I wondered, are we preparing them to discover their own authenticity and sufficiently inspire them to trust themselves as they mature into adults?  That is, when it's all said and done, that is what Reveta and Juan represent:  adults who act with passion and belief beyond themselves because they trust their authenticity.
 
With the NAIS Conference in the rearview mirror and the second graders scrambling about, my response in that moment, was, and still is, a resounding "Yes!"
 
I hope to see you all on Saturday evening at the annual RDS Auction, where we celebrate together the wonderful school and community that we have built: Redwood Day School.
 
Mike

January 29, 2010

One of the many reasons institutions create and maintain traditions is to handle the events that are, at times, otherwise overwhelming. Graduation and Step-Up are both good examples, as the literal change from one grade to another and the huge step from middle school to high school are too pregnant with emotion to handle gracefully without the container of tradition. 

This was as evident last Wednesday during our annual Dr. Martin Luther King Oratorical Festival, which this year occurred one week after the devastating earthquake in Haiti. This year, our RDS tradition was cast into sharp relief against the situation in Haiti and, more deeply, was a time for healing and empowerment. 

On Wednesday morning, the gym was packed - parents and guardians ringed the outside of the Assembly, and a panel of judges sat at a table in the back, in clear view of the participants. The air crackled with excitement, nerves, and anticipation. It is always moving to hear and see our students perform powerful speeches from the past, as well as material of their own. (And in keeping with the spirit of our school, we had many, many participants - both from the Lower and Middle Schools.) All of this energy was even more profound given the context of Haiti. That is, one week after the earthquake, hearing our students give voice to hope, resiliency, and faith inspired us to feel our power within as we looked outwards, towards Haiti.
 
At the conclusion of the Assembly, two of our parents who were born in Haiti - Yvy Eze (mother of Adamma, 2nd grade) and Isabelle Salgado (mother of Gabriel, 4th grade, and Daniel and Julian, K) - spoke to the crowd. First, they deeply thanked the school community for all that we are doing to send assistance to their country of origin. Second, they thanked us for the opportunity to share their experiences of Haiti. Finally, they made Haiti real and personal for us. Especially for our students, the newspaper photos and television footage are a few steps removed, but having two parents speak directly to them made the abstract real. Since the assembly, Yvy and Isabelle have shared their deep and personal knowledge about Haiti in smaller assemblies and in classrooms, discussing the country's strong sense of resilience and strength, throughout a very turbulent history. They have also showed the students many images of this beautiful country, allowing them to see a country beyond the destruction of the earthquake. This has resulted in some beautiful and poignant conversations. Deeper though, Isabelle and Yvy have helped to inspire our students to find creative ways to make a difference to the victims of the earthquake.  As testament, to date, our RDS community has already contributed more than $28,000 to help the people of Haiti. In many instances, this money has come right out of children's proverbial piggy banks.
 
And now we are seeing our students take action: from a bake sale in the Middle School - proceeds of which went to the Red Cross - to the Lower School student who approached me with the idea of donating the unclaimed items from our Lost & Found, to students donating a portion of their Bat Mitzvah gifts. Our students are engaged in making a positive difference. 
 
As time unfolds, we will move our students away from the direct donation of cash to thinking about more hands-on ways they can help. Our goal is to find ways that involve them more directly - where they can feel how their direct efforts make a difference. This will continue to provide much-needed aid to Haiti, as well as deeply embed in our students the knowledge and experience of making a difference, which is something we expect them to hold onto and nurture throughout their lives.
 
My dad always used to challenge me with a couple of old clichés that I'm sure we all heard growing up and that many of us still use today with our own children: "Make lemonade out of lemons"  and  "Every cloud has a silver lining - find it!"  (My dad liked to put his own spin on things.)  Given that the earthquake disaster in Haiti is beyond the ken of most of us, the challenge is to face this tragedy head on and to make sure that it does not overwhelm our children during these crucial phases of their development. I believe we, as a school, are on that path.
 
Have a restful weekend,
 
Mike

January 15, 2010

On Wednesday morning, an RDS parent left in my mail box an article from the Wall Street Journal, "Before You Gossip, Ask Yourself This...," by Jeffrey Zaslow. Two hours later, at our All-School Assembly, a third-grader announced that there was a lot of name-calling going on in his grade and it needed to stop. In the spirit of these synchronistic events, I want to share with you some practical advice from Zaslow about helping our children avoid the practices of gossip and name-calling, as our third-grade student so eloquently and responsibly requested.
 
In his article, Zaslow focused on the three questions that we have all heard and probably too easily have forgotten when it comes to gossip and name-calling. This wisdom has been passed down through the ages by various spiritual and religious groups. Before you say anything that borders on gossip or name-calling, you need to ask yourself three questions:
 
1.      Is what I'm about to say kind?
2.      Is what I'm about to say true?
3.      Is what I'm about to say necessary?
 
Your responses to these questions will unerringly guide you in what to say or not say. No deep philosophical inquiries here, just the facts.
 
That these questions are so simple and concrete means they are effective with both concrete thinkers (lower school students) and those entering or already in abstract thinking (middle school students, faculty, staff, administrators, parents, guardians). These questions ring true for us all.  
 
As a parent/guardian or teacher, posing these questions with our students caught in the act of gossip or name-calling is much more effective than simply telling them to stop, or worse, launching into lengthy lectures - especially lectures that are emotional. Instead, asking these questions invites them to judge their words and thoughts for themselves, rather than defend their actions to an adult.
 
Deeper still, when we connect these questions to their internal compasses, we strengthen their integrity.  "So you know that what you said was unkind (or not true or not necessary) and you still said it. How does that feel?  Was there a part of you that knew you shouldn't say it before you did? (Hint: There always is!)  Good.  Next time I suggest you listen to that part of yourself before you say anything like that. It'll help you avoid feeling the way you do now."
 
The bottom line is that we know all kids flirt with name-calling and gossip-it's part of growing up, for better and for worse. Our goal is to help them learn for themselves that this is not a desirable way to conduct their lives. My hunch is that if we all have these conversations-in many cases, over and over again-students will not feel the need to make announcements about name-calling at assemblies. And on this point I'm crystal clear: this can only happen if we work together, school and home.
 
Sometimes it's just three simple questions, coupled with boundless perseverance and patience, that can make all the difference. Think about it. Better yet, give it a try.
 
Have a wonderful weekend!
 
Mike
 
PS:  In the spirit of the power of words, I invite you all to the annual RDS Oratorical Festival on January 20 at our All-School Assembly.  Also, take the time over this long weekend to have some conversations with your children about the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I can think of no better role model and reinforcement of the three questions described above than Dr. King.

December 18, 2009

On Thursday evening, approximately 300 RDS students, parents, guardians, faculty, staff, and friends turned out for Prism's Celebration of Lights, an event inspired by the spirituality that crescendos in many religions at this time of year. These feelings and sentiments seem to linger in the air at school as families prepare for holiday traditions, reunions, and celebrations, all enveloped in the felt sense that life is bigger and more complex than the literalness of daily life.  Last night we felt that and much more.
 
The nature of this spirituality as expressed in the holidays acknowledged last night - Lantern Festival, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Bodhi Day, Iftar, Diwali, Winter Solstice - is candlessomewhat ineffable.  Yet, as a community, we put words to these thoughts and feelings through conversations at dinner tables, breaking bread together, and sharing stories that focused on the place of tradition in our families, which led some of us to remember diwalaidistant times, memories, relatives and emotions.  In the family spirit of this event the mood of the night was playful as children scurried about and enjoyed the freedom that comes with playing on the playground at night. I heard more than a few exclaim, with huge smiles on their faces, "I can't believe I'm still at school!"  Finally, shifting gears at the conclusion of the night, we gathered in a circle on the asphalt and acknowledged the "beyond words" feeling of this time through a simple candle lighting ceremony amidst the equally simple act of looking at and listening to one another - frequently with fresh eyes.
 
In some ways, this event paralleled the Community Boards currently on display in our Gallery: many of our assumptions were gently challenged in regard to one another as our real knowing of each other deepened.  And in the true RDS spirit, clear distinctions and individualities emerged amongst many more commonalities.
 
My hunch is that this event will be repeated for many years to come-actually, it's my hope.  Best of all, we will head into holiday vacation with last night as a precursor to the range of feelings we all have during these holidays
 
Before closing, a special honoring for Prism Co-Chairs Leah Hoskin, Shari Unitan, and Carolyn Phillips for their relentless work and inspired leadership in creating this wonderful RDS event. Equal kudos to the Parents' Association for sponsoring the event.  Thank you all.
 
Have a wonderful holiday break and see you in the New Year!
 
Mike

December 11, 2009

In five more school days, we will take a two-week break for the Winter Holidays, and we're all looking forward to it -- faculty, staff, students, parents, and guardians. It's a welcome respite from the daily rigors of life at school.  It's also a great time to reaffirm family and traditions we have during this time of year. (Speaking of traditions, I strongly urge you and your family to attend RDS's first-ever Celebration of Lights on Thursday, December 17. It promises to be a rich tradition that will grow and deepen every year.)
 
The break allows some of us extra time to spend with our kids, visit with friends, family and other loved ones, and maybe even to get away. Yet the holidays are often a time of added stress and pressure for many: shopping, decorating, parties, family gatherings... With the pleasure these activities bring, there are often intermittent bouts of friction in many families. That is, with high hopes and expectations, stress is a natural fallout. And at a time when we are often more homebound than normal, it is not unusual for us to push one another's buttons.
 
Today I write to urge you to reconsider the power of apology if these moments occur in your family.  Unfortunately, it is too easy to assume that others hear your implicit apology or to assume the other person is fine with what has happened, as evidenced by their silence and apparent need to not talk it through. Do not be fooled.
 
In an experiment by Dan Ariely, "The End of Rational Economics" (Harvard Business Review, July-August 2009), researchers hired an actor to interface with customers in a local coffee shop. The actor asked customers to find matching letters from several sheets of paper and promised each $5 for completing the task. Upon completion, he handed them a stack of singles and had them sign a receipt -- and he "mistakenly" overpaid them by two, three, or four dollars. The results were quite depressing: only 45% of the participants returned or acknowledged the extra money. A sad comment on society unto itself - and the subject of future letters I am sure.
 
In a variation of the first experiment, to test what they called the "annoyance" factor,  the actor received a phone call from a friend about pizza in the middle of his conversation with the coffee shop customer. The call lasted 15 seconds. At the conclusion of the phone call, he simply continued with his instructions to the customer. The focus of the experiment was to see if and to what extent this rude treatment affected the honesty of the participants. The results were shocking: only 14% of these participants gave the extra money back!
 
In a final variation of this experiment, and the topic of this letter, the actor - after receiving the phone call - offered a quick apology for the interruption and continued with his instructions. With this simple acknowledgement, the honesty jumped back up to 45%! 
 
All to say, if you want to live with the your own best selves and those of your children during this break, be sure to acknowledge your inevitable missteps during this hectic season.  Don't assume they understand your stress and have heard any implicit apology you have offered. They need to hear it and to see it with eye contact. Best of all, as you model this, they will pick up on your lesson and learn to accept responsibility and to offer appropriate apologies for their own transgressions, thus assisting you in living through your own best-self during this holiday season. The ultimate gift that keeps giving.
 
Have a nice weekend.
 
Mike

December 4, 2009

On Monday afternoon, Ana-Marie Jones, Executive Director of Collaborating Agencies Responding to Disasters, came to RDS as a consultant for a planned disaster drill. Instead of reviewing our plans ahead of time, Ana-Marie preferred to see us in action, because, as she reminded us, "The goal of a drill is to learn." As I've previously discussed in this forum, most education occurs at the edges of failure, so she needed to see how we responded during a drill, with all our strengths and faults, not on paper.  In simple terms, her goal was to help us learn how to better think, communicate, and act in any type of crisis, because seldom does a disaster happen exactly as we think it will.

The context for the drill was a toxic spill on I-580, which was communicated throughout the campus via the speaker system on classroom and office phones. The nature of this drill required adults and students alike to think matters through in real time. For example, windows and doors needed to be closed promptly; gaps under doors and between window panes had to be stuffed with towels and sweatshirts.  The idea is that along with our usual drills for fire or earthquake, in which we follow specified protocols, in this case we needed to think for ourselves. What kind of disaster was it? What were appropriate responses? How was this communicated?

After the drill, Ana-Marie insisted that we debrief as an entire community - students joined adults in the gym. She used this time to reinforce to all of us what works in any emergency: communicating (listening as well as speaking), thinking, and acting. She pointed out all that the students had done the right thing and underscored the idea that we all have more control than we might initially think, even in the toughest of situations. For example, one student mentioned how he could reassure scared classmates.  Another described the need to be quiet and listen to the adults in charge. Still another talked about the need to drink plenty of water. From the mundane to the sublime, our students covered most of the bases.

With each student comment or question, Ana Marie reaffirmed that it comes down to communicating, thinking, and acting. (Or as the old acronym KISS reminds us: Keep It Simple, Silly.) 

Later on, while debriefing with a group of staff and faculty, she underscored the importance of learning to communicate, think, and act - regardless of the crisis. This is why disaster plans are important and drills are even more important.  That is, planning helps us think through a range of contingencies and gets everyone on the same page; yet in the moment, when the adrenaline is pumping and chaos abounds, anything but the simplest plans are forgotten, which is why we have monthly fire and earthquake drills, as well as Monday's toxic spill scenario. We need practice communicating, thinking, and acting amidst disaster, even if the crisis is staged.

Towards the end of her session with students, Ana Marie asked the audience: "How many of you have practiced responding to a disaster at home, with your family?" Many hands shot up in the air.  Many did not.  Now, I know that some of the hands that did not shoot into the air should have - I know one for sure!  Yet given the stop and go of normal childhood development, not doing these scenarios on a regular basis leads children to forget what they have learned.

We need to conduct our own disaster drills at home for the obvious reasons, chief among them safety.  Deeper though, these exercises teach all of us how to think, communicate, and act under stress. This kind of flexible and creative thinking under pressure does not happen of its own accord. It must be cultivated. At both home and school, we need to practice flexible thinking because it aids in the kinds of communication and action our children need throughout their lives: standing up to a bully, having a difficult conversation with a parent or guardian, resisting the urge to cheat despite ripe opportunity, or offering a sincere apology.

In this regard, regular disaster drills under unusual circumstances give us incredible opportunities to influence our children's thinking in deep and profound ways. Let's all keep our eyes and ears open to these opportunities.

Have a great weekend.

Mike

November 20, 2009
 
Earlier this year, PE teachers Tanna Hall and Jase Turner approached me about doing an interactive lesson with their colleagues, and last week they got their wish. We ended our Wednesday All Faculty/Staff meeting early and, much to the surprise of all in attendance, headed over to the gym. As I announced our destination, I also cautioned those furtively glancing at the back door that this meant everyone - it felt like I was at home announcing that we would all clean the kitchen!
 
A short while later, we reassembled in the gym, though truth be told, if one of our classes took this long to move from the library to the gym, the teacher in charge would be having a conversation with the class. We skipped over that conversation in favor of focusing on the task at hand - almost always the smart choice.
 
Coaches Hall and Turner met us with smiles and encouragement as they motioned us to have a seat on the bleachers. We were instantly transformed into attuned students as they described our activity: Medic.
 
For those of you not familiar with the game of Medic, it's a combination of team dodge ball and freeze tag - only wilder and more woolly than either. If you get hit by one of the many balls in play, you must drop to the ground until your team's medic touches you. There is only one medic per team so once that person is hit with a ball, and subsequently is out the remainder of the game, it's just a matter of time before the other players are eliminated, as well as any realistic chance of victory. For a more colorful description of this activity, ask any RDS student; it's one of their favorites.
 
Just about everyone participated, and those who did not shouted inspirational cheers to their colleagues, comments like: "Keep breathing!"  "Duck...  sooner!"  "I can't believe you missed!"  It took about 30 seconds for all of us to get what the students have been telling us all along: Medic is a cool game! It requires agility, communication, hand-eye-coordination, aerobic fitness, peripheral vision, quickness, strategy, teamwork, and a positive attitude. At the conclusion of our game, which took 10 - 15 minutes, Tanna and Jase left us with one simple observation: "Nice to see that everyone is breathing hard and sweating. This is what PE is all about at RDS."
 
Moments later, walking out of the gym and comparing notes, I couldn't help but notice the improved moods and outlooks across all our faces. It also made me again realize how important physical activity and PE are to our students. Recess is not a luxury for students, it's a necessity. And PE is one of the places where students get to explore a wide range of physical activities as they also experience the joy of movement and benevolent competition, especially under the tutelage of top-notch educators like Tanna and Jase.
 
Finally, since this is the last Friday Folder before Thanksgiving, hold on to the spirit of Medic - it might be a great family activity after dinner and before dessert. It's also important, throughout the upcoming break, to make sure your children have plenty of activity and outdoor time. If you're brave, you might even ask them to teach you a few of the other PE activities they have learned at RDS. Have a wonderful holiday!
 
Mike

November 13, 2009
 
Last Saturday morning at the Vanguard Conference held at RDS, Ronnie Lott spoke to an audience of over 100 students, parents, and faculty from a wide range of Bay Area independent schools. He was masterful. Lott, a former superstar for the San Francisco 49ers and member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, eschewed the typical pro athlete speech - talking about their various exploits and adventures on the playing field and in the locker room. Rather, Lott gave a heartfelt message about how one lives life. In this regard, he had two important messages from which we can all benefit. First, I must describe his introductory remarks, which were not planned and were inspirational.
 
Quite simply, with the reality of raising three children of his own and a schedule that leaves him in high demand around the world, Lott lost sight of the logistics for Saturday's conference. While he was scheduled to kick off the conference at 9:00 a.m., he had in his mind that he wasn't speaking until 11:00 a.m. So when I spoke to him on the phone at 9:15, the panic was audible in his voice: "I blew it!  I'll get there as soon as I can!"  Ray Wilson, who was in charge of the conference, stayed calm. "No problem, we'll just move the workshops around, and Ronnie can talk before lunch." And he did.
 
When Ronnie stood in front of the audience, rather than make light of his honest mistake, he apologized, profusely and sincerely. "I did not bring my greatness here this morning. That is not right, and it is not respectful to all of you here today. I don't have any excuses; it was my fault and for that I apologize." Instantly, you could feel the room change as it became more intimate and accepting. It was the powerful effect of a real apology - in this case a Hall of Fame athlete humbling himself to an audience primarily of middle school and high school students. More than this, however, he showed us all how to apologize and simultaneously retain pride and dignity. It was as beautiful as any interception he made while playing for the 49ers.
 
Ronnie's two themes of the day - exhaust life and compete - were built upon that foundation of self-honesty laid in his opening remarks. He encouraged students to exhaust life: try everything and always do your best. He extolled the virtues of competing, with others, and yourself. His examples were rich. He even joked that he knew the kids were expecting stories about professional football so they were probably getting tired of this guy going on about life - though every student I looked at was fully engaged.
 
In his professional football career, Ronnie was legendary for how hard he worked and his ability to consistently do what other players did not think was possible. Yet on this day in our Middle School Multipurpose Room he chose to share stories about when he didn't do his best, when he was intimidated by other students' success in school, about when he fell victim rather than standing strong in the face of adversity.
 
He brilliantly pulled out the best in the students. After asking one senior what was in his heart, he listened patiently and persistently. When with his support the student dug deeper and opened up by saying "a passion for art," Ronnie's smile filled the room and his joy was like a healing salve. "Good for you!  Now you have to stick with this. Work at it. Don't let other people's doubts get in your way....  And you're lucky, you know your passion when most others don't.  I didn't at your age."  It was that kind of morning and day.
 
Driving away and reflecting on the morning, I couldn't help but feel a deep pride for RDS. Because what Ronnie did in his talk is what our teachers and staff do everyday at RDS: encourage students to give their best and take risks. Just as important, like Ronnie, they teach and model how to take responsibility in life.
 
Have a great weekend!

Mike

November 6, 2009

Letter from Head of School Mike Riera and
Middle School Coordinator and Facilitator of the Faculty/Staff Diversity Strategic Plan Committee Jeanne Coyne Song

“If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.”  Barack Obama

The above quote by President Obama is an apt description of the RDS process and commitment to diversity.  The path we are on is not straightforward—it meanders, has more than its fair share of switchbacks, and sometimes even a few dead ends.  It also has moments of inspiration and clear vistas of breathtaking beauty.  And always, we are better off for making the journey.  With our Diversity Strategic Plan, we invite you to join us, no matter your pace. That is, we invite you to travel with RDS towards our vision of becoming an even more inclusive and welcoming community, balancing the tension and reaping the creativity between “intimate” and “diverse.”

Towards the end of Mike’s first year as Head of School, he asked a diversity consultant about creating a diversity strategic plan for RDS. The rather blunt response was “RDS is nowhere near ready for a plan of this scope and magnitude.”   Just over four years later, we are proud to say that RDS is not only ready for a comprehensive diversity plan--we are indeed on the verge of making it happen, which is the reason for this week’s letter: to get the community caught up on our progress and to solicit your feedback on the most recent draft of the plan. 

When you read the plan, you will notice first that it is directed towards and effective at the visionary level.  That is, it is essential for the community to understand and believe in the big picture before getting caught up in the operational goals of how we will make all of this happen.

Here is the journey we have been making since October 2007, when RDS hired Frances Kendall, Ph.D., to do a climate study, which took place in the spring of that academic year. The results were shared with faculty, staff, board members, parents, and guardians in the fall of 2008 at a series of after-school and evening meetings.  At that point, six faculty and staff came together to take on the daunting task of writing the first-ever RDS Diversity Strategic Plan. Since then they have met regularly, with much extra time put in over this past summer.  Frances Kendall has continued to consult with the group, which has been facilitated by Middle School Coordinator Jeanne Coyne Song. 

This fall the first draft of the plan was completed and shared with the Diversity Committee of the Board of Trustees, and shortly afterwards with the entire Board of Trustees, for critical feedback. That feedback was then incorporated into a second draft version, which was in turn shared and discussed with faculty and staff, which brings us to the present. 

This link leads to the current draft of the RDS Diversity Strategic Plan on our website. We invite all parents and guardians to take some time to read this document.  You have the opportunity to learn more about the plan directly from the committee members by attending one of two informational meetings listed at the end of this letter.  Your feedback can come back to us via an online survey (look for a link by email next week) and/or a drop-box in the School’s Gallery.

Once the committee members have all the feedback, they will look for themes and ideas to include when they write up the action items that will bring the plan to life. The final draft will be presented to the Head of School for acceptance, after which he will work with the committee to create a process for oversight, planning, timing and accountability of the action items.

How we form, implement, and evaluate the operational goals derived from this plan is of vital importance. This process must keep the plan alive, durable, flexible, and purposeful. We imagine the final process will include a small committee working with the Head of School and Department Heads to formulate a set of clear, measurable goals on a regular basis to build into the plan. And in the spirit of inclusion, these goals will be made public, as well as the successes and setbacks in implementation. 

The direction and work that the Diversity Strategic Plan will set forth is profound and appropriate for such a robust school as RDS. We are ourselves a diverse community that has come together for a singular purpose felt everyday in the hallways and on the grounds of our school: the well-being of our children—the future generation of our great nation. To some this plan will seem grandiose, to which we say the foundation of our country is built upon the shoulders of those who looked around and had the courage to say: “it could be better.”  To others, the plan will seem to fall short, to which we say: the journey of 1,000 miles starts with one step, and to which we add, “and continues, step after step.”

As parents, guardians, and educators we have the responsibility to participate in making RDS an even more inclusive school. Our children are growing up and being educated to be successful and courageous members of a global community. We cannot stand in their way.  In the spirit of Mahatma Gandhi, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Read the plan. Turn in your feedback. Have your voice heard and counted.

Please join us for one of these community information meetings.

Tuesday, November 17, 6:30-8:00 p.m.   
Lower School Multipurpose Room           
6:00-6:30 p.m. Pizza & salad provided       
*Childcare provided for school-aged children.  Please RSVP to:  DiversityCommittee@rdschool.org

Tuesday, December 1, 8:30-10:00 a.m.
Middle School Multipurpose Room
8:00-8:30 a.m. Light refreshments provided

Yours in service,

Mike Riera & Jeanne Coyne Song

October 28, 2009

On Monday evening this week, we had our annual High School Panel, where graduates from last year return to RDS to talk with current 8th graders, parents, and guardians about their experiences in high school. This year we had thirteen alums come back, representing twelve different high schools.  Assistant Head of School Warren Sepkowitz moderated the panel and kept things moving, asking a wide range of his own questions, as well as soliciting queries from the audience. What the RDS graduates had to say about homework, social life, arts, athletics, admission interviews, and school culture was of high value to our current students.
 
The bottom line is that all the graduates have made a successful adjustment into high school and just a few months into their high school careers seem to be thriving.  There was, however, a deeper dynamic that emerged over the course of the evening. Graduates were back in part to help out, and in larger part to reconnect with one another. You could see it in the pizza dinner beforehand, and it extended all the way through the panel discussion. At dinner there were lots of loud squeals of delight, affectionate hugs, and sincere "How are you doing?" Heck, they were even excited to see a couple of old folks like Warren and me. The connections that existed between the kids were palpable and contagious.
 
Over the course of the panel, the students good-naturedly teased one another and tried as subtly as possible to outdo one another, all with tongue in cheek. Their level of banter and humor was impressive and noteworthy. In addition, they listened to one another, deeply, and in their listening supported each other as they demonstrated their public speaking skills in front of a friendly RDS audience.
 
Walking away, I flashed back to a recent conversation I had with a colleague who is the head of school at an independent school in San Francisco. He had just come back from a former student's wedding and commented that just over 25% of the graduating class had been in attendance.  Flashing forward I could easily imagine high percentages of RDS graduates attending classmates' weddings.
 
Without a doubt, the habits of mind and intellect that students get with an RDS education are of high caliber. And on Monday night, the habits of friendship and care were just as evident.
 
Have an engaging conference and a relaxing weekend.
 
Mike

RDS Community and the Parents' Association

October 23, 2009

There were no empty parking spaces and Sheffield Avenue was lined with cars. The weather was divine and spirits light. Boys and girls scurried up the climbing wall - some moved faster than an elevator while others cautiously took their time, each pausing long enough to acknowledge their record from the previous year. Students raced out of the jumpee only to get right back in line. Baskets were shot, and balloons were tossed. Parents and guardians mingled, introductions ensued. Children and adults moved freely about with just enough activity to keep everyone engaged but not overwhelmed.  Each hour was marked by a wave of kids with the same soccer jerseys leaving and passing another wave of different colored jerseys arriving.
 
In short, it was the Annual RDS Parents' Association Picnic. And as in the past, it was a wonderful event - a hallmark of our community.
 
Underlying the success of this event is a core RDS value. It's not just that the picnic is fun and the food is good. It's not just that the activities are varied and engaging. It's not just the opportunity to meet new families. Actually, it's all of the above plus something else that binds all this together: we enjoy one another and we value community.
 
Community does not just happen of its own accord, nor can it easily be manufactured. Community, in the case of RDS, emerges from the fabric of each of us and occurs because it is important to us. It is also intentional, and at RDS one of the constants in this arena is the work of the RDS Parents' Association. Over many years, they have worked behind the scenes to ensure and honor community.  The RDSPA is made up solely of volunteers that include those new to RDS and those who have been here almost since the School moved to Sheffield Avenue. The blend is beautiful: tradition with innovation; history in the present; wisdom with creativity. 
 
While the RDSPA Picnic is a longstanding tradition, the RDSPA also makes room for the new. Just last week, Prism showed It's Elementary, a film that addresses anti-gay prejudice and provides caregivers with pragmatic ways to talk with children about gay people. After the screening, 35 RDS parents and guardians had a wonderful discussion about the film, the issues presented, and the challenges therein.  It was another example of community in action.
 
Just around the corner is the annual Book Fair, which kicks off with a singular RDS event: the Book Bug Boogie. During the Book Fair, we reaffirm our commitment to literature, as a school and as families. At the Boogie, we affirm our understanding of middle schoolers and their need to take risks in a safe community, while at the same time relishing the joy, humor, and inspiration they bring to their various performances. 
 
All to say that the RDS Parents' Association is on fire! The activities are participatory, varied, complex, and reflective of the "intimate, diverse community" that is RDS. Heartfelt thanks to all the families that comprise the body and leadership of the RDSPA and all that you do in making "community" much more than a word.
 
Have a great weekend.
 
Mike

October 16, 2009

Early next week, you will receive the RDS Annual Report for 2008-2009 in the mail. Shortly thereafter, you will receive a letter requesting your participation in the RDS 2009-2010 Annual Fund. They arrive on the heels of one another intentionally.
 
In the Annual Report, you will notice that while the economy slumped, RDS continued to thrive. We did so for two reasons. First, despite the economy, families continued to stretch in terms of what they could give to the Annual Fund. Second, institutionally we practiced sound fiscal management with a thoughtful eye to where we could cut costs without sacrificing program. As a result, the School is in a stronger financial position than it was twelve months ago, and our program has continued to grow and deepen. 
 
As most of you already know, the Annual Fund is used each year for a variety of operational expenses: financial aid, professional development, assemblies, athletics, arts, outdoor education, and much more.  And the nature of the fund allows us to use the money where most needed. For instance, last spring we allocated more money than budgeted to financial aid so that we could support the families hit hardest by the economy. I'm happy to say that this move was unanimously approved by the Board of Trustees. It was simply the right thing to do. Clearly a robust Annual Fund is essential to the ongoing health and improvement of the RDS community, as it is for all independent schools.
 
Since 2004, the money raised in the Annual Fund has continued to grow: from $228,000 in 2003-04, to over $377,000 in 2007-08. As enrollment grew, our Annual Fund grew proportionally more. That is, until last year, when we dipped back to just below $300,000. Last year, both the amount raised and the number of families participating decreased. We know this was in part due to the economy and in part to our own enthusiasm to raise funds for our high school efforts. That is, the final Annual Fund numbers from last year do not nearly reflect the support - emotionally, financially, and spiritually - that we felt from the school community. 
 
This year, we need to return to our phenomenal pattern of family participation: 85% (2005-06), 87% (2006-07), 88% (2007-08). As we move forward, we need to get back on the path to increasing money raised and the number of families participating in the Annual Fund. A robust Annual Fund helps keep tuition rates manageable (always a relative term!), and high participation is vitally important whenever we approach outside foundations for support. A foundation's first question is always "What percent of families currently support the School with Annual Fund gifts?" Therefore, even if you can only give a modest amount this year, please do not discount the aggregate power of your gift. Each and every gift is your vote of support for what we do as an institution and in our mutual commitment to exceptional developmentally-based education.
 
Which brings me to this year's Annual Fund. Starting today, please resolve to participate in this year's Annual Fund and to now start considering the amount of the gift that you can afford. Think of your gift as a school-year commitment; break it into monthly installments, if that helps you make a stretch (our Advancement Office will happily work with you to create a schedule of pre-authorized credit card payments or other arrangements). Of all the ways we fundraise at RDS, we ask that you make the Annual Fund your #1 priority. We rely on these dollars for our current budget - in short, we rely on you.
 
With thanks in advance for all you do for RDS,
 
Mike

October 8, 2009

Letter from Head of School Mike Riera and
Director of Learning Services Toby Mickelson

Over the years you have heard lots of advice on how to help your children with homework: make sure they have a clean and clear space in which to work; be present; let them do their own work; be patient; be more patient.  In the end you have discovered, more or less, what works and what does not.  Today we want to point out a slightly different take on helping with homework, one that has to do with recognizing the underlying learning that is at play.

When it comes to learning it’s not nearly as straightforward as many think. Let’s start with a simple question: What needs to be in place for learning to occur?  What do you come up with?

For certain, you need attention, and ideally a little motivation as well.  But is that enough?  Not really.  You also need some sort of instructor—an actual teacher, a book or video, or an event that causes real reflection.  But even with attention, motivation, and a teacher, there is no guarantee that learning will occur.  As an example, think about your experiences trying to learn something that you never quite mastered: a foreign language, a musical instrument, or calculus.  You gave it your attention, you were motivated, and you had a teacher, yet it never worked out as you had hoped.  What was missing?
 
In an earlier Friday Folder we announced that one of the foci this year is learning and teaching, in that order.  To this end, the RDS faculty and staff spent a morning before the school year began examining learning and one of its foremost barriers: information overload. It happens more often and more quickly than most of us realize. Think about the last time you tried to help your child with homework.  Remember that funny look on their face or perhaps their arguing with you or your advice?  That was probably information overload.  Lots of times in our efforts to help our children we give them way too much information, which leads to what we call acting out or misbehaving

Two of the primary tenets of learning  - learning purpose and organization - are disturbed when there is information overload. Learning purpose refers to what is being taught, and this must be spelled out clearly and concisely to students: “Today we will learn how to add two, single-digit numbers.”  “We are learning to recognize words with a silent e.”  “Today we are going to effectively learn how to recognize and avoid split infinitives.”  (With due respects to William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White.)  The second tenet of learning, organization, means that students must organize the information in such a way that it is available to them when needed and on an ongoing basis.  That is, if they take in the information without organizing it, they haven’t really learned the material, which is akin to our attending a lecture that we found brilliant and several hours later only being able to remember one or two salient points.

Many non-professional educators slip up by having an unclear or too ambitious learning purpose, and most falter when it comes to helping their children or students organize the material just taught.  Some activities that assist in the organization of new materials include: writing or saying it in your own words, a few minutes of silent reflection, time for questions and engaging discussion, teaching the information to another student.  

In seventh and eighth grade math, Jim Rendle helps students to organize information by having them self-assess their mastery over a concept by demonstrating success in three areas: 1.  Solid assessment score; 2.  Ability to describe the process of what they have learned; 3.  Ability to find and describe a mistake in someone else’s work.  To succeed in these three areas, students have to take in the information and organize it on a deep level.

Okay, by now many of you are glad that you aren’t teachers. We write about this today to point towards another way that you can be helpful to your child in their homework.  That is, much of what students do as homework is reinforcing and organizing learning that took place during the school day.  To best assist your children, here are a few tips:

  1. Look at the homework and try to give words to the learning purpose.  Engage your child in this.   “Is this about x?”  Let them correct you, and ideally each correction helps the learning purpose get more specific.  Persist until you find a phrase that you both agree on.
  2. Help them to organize the material: “Tell me in your own words when to use el or la in Spanish.”  “Draw a picture of the game you were playing in P.E.”   “Teach me how to multiply fractions.”

Be patient with yourself if you take this on.  And if you do, you will notice that helping out with homework may become more peaceful and friendly over time.  You will be less judgmental about your child’s actual success and speed in completing their homework. As you are more curious about the learning purpose of the assignment, your child will naturally become more engaged, both with the work and with you. You will also have a much better sense of what they are learning in school, which in turn is a foot in the door to other tangential conversations.  

Finally, in the spirit of organizing information, please go talk about this letter to somebody, or better yet, teach it to someone who has not read it!

Have a great weekend.

Mike and Toby

October 2, 2009,

Silence is often misunderstood. Far too often we interpret it as a time when nothing is happening, which is why we typically undervalue the place of silence -- in our own lives and in the lives of our children. By silence, at least in today's letter, I mean the particular stillness that is reflective, introspective, and personal. I write about this now because knowing and valuing the role this type of silence plays in our lives is something that begins early in our children's lives and extends forward throughout their lifetime.

Silence, rather than a sign of rest, is instead an indicator that someone is hard at work - on himself or herself. This kind of silence presents calmly, as all the exertion is happening internally, out of our view. Sometimes an "Aha!" moment is the end result, but more often the outcome is simply a deepening of thinking and being. This is the place where ideas are born and minds expand, forgiveness begins, insights click, and sorrow passes. The internal experience of silence is not always simple, yet it is the best gateway to open ourselves to real tranquility.

There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub." Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

From the place of silence, singular moments present themselves to us in dimensional relief. We suddenly discover the beauty of the tree that has grown outside our window all these years. We feel the enthusiasm and anticipatory joy of our child as she asks us if we want to play. We hear the sound of laughter that instinctually puts a smile on our faces. We feel the poem or song as for the first time it touches and envelops our soul.

This particular brand of silence is the architect of our inner world. This is where we reflect upon our actions, the world, and yes, even the meaning of life. In many ways this is alchemy in action. We take the stuff of everyday and transform it into the depth of wisdom, and it all starts with silence. This is a learned skill. It's the stuff of meditation, when we learn to observe our thoughts, feelings, and images without attachment. It's the stuff of prayer, when we learn to plumb the layers and depths of meaning to discover faith. It's the deep listening, when we learn to hear what isn't being said.

I believe that one of the reasons, conscious or unconscious, that you chose Redwood Day School is because of our developmental approach and our attention to the inner as well as outer lives of our students. As much as school is about skills, information, and knowledge, it is also about the quality of the person who possesses them. We focus on both. We instill in our students the habits and attitudes required to develop and maintain a rich internal life. In younger children this is the world of imagination and observation. In older children it is the mix of imagination and observation, along with the beginning stages of deeper reflection. If you keep your eyes open for it, you will see it in the faces of your children and their friends more than you might expect. Support the beginning stages of this depth, as this is what leads to both a rich internal existence and a well-examined life.

This weekend if you notice your children in quiet reverie or staring off in silence, don't be too quick to ask them what they are thinking. Instead, slip next to them and join their silence. Without words, let them know that this is a healthy behavior to cultivate - that it is worth the effort. And while you are sitting there, use the opportunity to check in with your own internal life - you may find yourself lingering in this silence longer than expected.

Silence is a fence around wisdom." German Proverb

Have a nice weekend and build your fences wide and far.

Mike

September 25, 2009

One of the challenges in any school is thorough communication of all that goes on in the different grades and classrooms over the course of a year to its various constituencies—parents, guardians, faculty, staff, trustees, students, and interested families. That is, as a parent/guardian you generally have in-depth information and experience on one or two classrooms at a time, and at best, a cursory sense of the grades not yet experienced. At RDS, one of the overarching goals of the Friday Folder is to give everyone a better sense of our philosophy and what goes on day to day at the School, along with all the logistical information you need to know.

Besides the obvious and valuable green benefits to going paperless, our shift to an electronic, web-based newsletter was based, in part, on the goal of more comprehensive and varied communications. As you have no doubt observed, we have been adding recurring sections to the Friday Folder. The first new section we introduced was Learning Spotlight, which focuses on a specific moment of learning and teaching in the classroom. Our goal is to bring the learning and the expertise of our faculty to everyone’s attention. The second, Greening, is designed to keep you abreast of all that we are doing throughout the campus and in the classrooms to teach and implement environmentally-sound thinking and practices in our community. The third, Honoring, was created to share with parents and guardians a vital and mission-driven ritual practiced at RDS—in classes, at assemblies, and during faculty/staff meetings: honoring. While you will see some of these sections intermittently, Honoring will appear each week, which speaks volumes about how much our parents, guardians, and other family members contribute to this community.

This week, we introduce a fourth recurring section, Diversity Spotlight, which is a re-designed version of last year’s Diversity Corner. In this feature, which we will publish every four or five weeks, you will find entries from teachers about an aspect of diversity that was part of a planned piece of curriculum or arose during discussion on another topic. (Please note: due to space limitations we can only give teachers one entry.) We are presenting these stories because we believe that one of the most effective ways to describe what we mean by diversity is to show you what we actually do.

In creating the Diversity Spotlight:

  1. We want everyone to have a better sense of the range and depth of diversity education happening at RDS during any given period of time.
  2. Through your knowledge of what is happening in the classroom, you will be able to engage your children in follow-up conversations that otherwise might not have occurred
  3. You will see the multiple ways our teachers define and make use of the concept of diversity, which in turn will help you to see how this diversity work deepens our students’ thinking, as well as hones their critical thinking abilities.
  4. You will also see how this work permeates our thinking at RDS and works towards creating the “diverse, intimate community” to which we aspire.

One of the side benefits of our new web-based Friday Folder is that we can archive these new sections. Thus, six months or a year from now, anyone wanting to know what RDS does in terms of diversity or environmental education and practice will have numerous, on the ground examples to read and learn from. Finally, through these sections, we will all develop a deeper understanding of the rich educational work that our teachers are engaged in with your children, on a daily basis.

Have a great weekend.

Mike

Special Honoring: As many of you know, last Friday was Malia Connor’s last day as RDS Receptionist due to scheduling conflicts that came up this year. We honor Malia for her four years of service to the Redwood community and wish her the very best. She will be missed. Thank you, Malia. Stepping in to help out in the Front Office this week and next is Tiffany Brown. Please stop by and say hello.

September 18, 2009,

From the Assistant Head of School

Every Monday afternoon in the middle school, we meet as a community in what is known as Middle School Gathering.  This is a time when student government shares ideas, teachers make announcements, and special guests are invited to present; generally speaking, the middle school comes together.

Gathering provides a different kind of space for powerful learning to happen. Often times, as happened this past Monday, the components that we have put on the agenda meld in unexpected ways that we could not have planned, and we watch the students learn and grow right then and there.

We began by watching and listening to a tape of President Obama’s September 8 speech about the importance of personal responsibility and making sure that students do their best each and every day.

Following on the heels of President Obama, Channing Nesbitt, president of the student council, did a great job as he spoke about decision-making, personal responsibility, and learning from one's mistakes.  On his own, Channing personalized and epitomized the message that students had just heard from President Obama. 

Coach Turner then gave his own story about personal responsibility. He related what life lesson he had learned from letting his baseball teammates down in college by showing up late for practice because he had tried to schedule his life too tightly and did not make his commitment to his team the priority.  While his story was nuanced, he made it clear that personal integrity is having the ability to look at oneself honestly, not to blame others, and understand how essential it is to do one's best for others on a team or in a group, and ultimately for oneself. 

We have invited teachers to speak at Gathering for the past two years. It is an opportunity for them to share with students a situation or recognize a person who has had a dramatic influence on their lives. Their stories have led to some of the most meaningful teaching that has taken place in Gathering.

What we want our students to gain and to know at intellectual and emotional levels is how essential it is to do one's best, no matter what the circumstances. President Obama spoke about being raised by a single mom and the very tough challenges that they both faced. He spoke about three American teenagers who faced daunting challenges in their lives as well, who refused to let their respective cases of cancer, limited knowledge of English in the family, or lack of finances at home deter them from their dreams to attend university and make their communities and their own lives better. He used those examples to let his audience know that we all have challenges in life and we all must learn to do our best, no matter what the circumstances.

As I listened to Obama’s speech, I couldn't help but think of my own mother, who raised four kids as a single mom. There are still days when I am not sure how she did it: getting our lunches made, getting us to school on time, and getting to work herself. I know that she would have enjoyed hearing Channing, Coach Turner, and President Obama speak about their own lives, what they had learned, how they had grown, and how personal responsibility played a part in all of that.

Personal responsibility is one of the most important and enduring lessons we can teach our students. One of the beautiful aspects of an RDS education is that this lesson can be learned in the classroom, in the gym, in the library, in a drama production, or at recess, each and every day.

Warren Sepkowitz
Assistant Head of School
Middle School Director

Septemebr 11, 2009

Learning from our mistakes is not automatic, but if we are willing to take a hard look at them, there is the opportunity for growth. The airline industry learned this in their efforts to reduce crashes attributable to pilot error.

From 1940 to 1990, no matter how much the airlines tried, they were unable to lower the percentage of crashes attributable to pilot error: 65%. However, beginning in the 1990’s, this percentage began to drop radically to its current rate of approximately 30%. In fact, the drive to the airport became much more dangerous than the flight on a commercial airline. What happened?

Essentially, it was the advent of the flight simulator, which allowed pilots—in a safe environment—to experience a wide range of in-flight troubles and to learn from their reactions. That is, according to Jonah Leherer, author of How We Decide, “Instead of memorizing lessons, a pilot can now train the emotional brain, preparing the parts of the cortex that will actually make the decision when up in the air,” (pg. 252). It was how pilots debriefed from their flight simulations that made as much a difference as the actual exercises themselves. Each decision was scrutinized from a variety of angles, even the good ones. This type of review is intellectually and emotionally draining, but highly productive.

At RDS, we have our own institutional annual debrief, and while not nearly as comprehensive as what pilots go through during flight-simulator training, our annual Parent Survey is thoroughly discussed, reflected upon, and learned from by all of our Department Heads.

Every spring for the past six years, we have asked parents and guardians to complete a Parent Survey about their experience at RDS. Over my time here, that information has been incredibly useful in making mid-course adjustments as well long-term improvements—sometimes in the areas of program and curriculum, other times in improving how we communicate what we already are doing. Like the data confronting airline pilots, the information isn’t always easy to read. In part, this is because besides the quantitative results, the Department Heads and I read each and every single comment a parent or guardian writes—usually twice. We first discuss the survey at our spring retreat, when we look for patterns, unexpected areas of concern, and communication issues. In August, we get together at a second retreat and create some goals for the year, in part based on the feedback gathered in the Parent Survey.

This year, in addition to our own internal work with the survey, we had an outside consultant analyze the data. Below are a few of the consultant’s key findings (based on 187 completed surveys by RDS families), and some of the resultant initiatives we have at the School for the 2009-2010 academic year. As you will see, some are directly related to the survey while others are not.

Key Findings

  • Overall satisfaction with RDS is at 96%
  • 94% of respondents feel RDS has a strong reputation and 90% enthusiastically recommend the School
  • 90% or more of parents and guardians agree:
    • RDS has a ‘broad, engaging curriculum’
    • RDS attends to the ‘emotional needs of children’
    • RDS’s mission statement accurately reflects ‘the culture of the school’
    • RDS attends to the ‘developmental needs of children’
    • RDS does a good job of ‘exposing students to multicultural perspectives’
  • 94% understand and support the need for fundraising at RDS

    •

The findings show RDS in a strong position as an educational leader in the East Bay, and as always there are areas for improvement. One of the pieces that surfaced in the Parent Survey was the question of academic rigor. In reading these comments, it seemed as though there was an assumed “either/or.” Either the curriculum is rigorous, or it is developmental. The reality is that it can be and is “both/and.” I hope my letter in last week’s Friday Folder and some of what you are hearing at the Back to School Nights bring to life this connection of rigor and developmental education. In fact, they are inseparable. At the same time, we will work this year to better point out where and how the rigor occurs at RDS. It’s not always an easy dynamic to spot; for example, we know that rigor is not as simple as a seventh grader sitting at a desk with a pile of books next to her while she works into the wee hours of the night. That is usually just overwork, which more frequently leads to exhaustion rather than intellectual growth. Rigor is a much more complex phenomenon.

An example of rigor that comes to mind right away was middle school science teacher Lindsay Sandzik’s seventh-grade digestive project last year. She broke the students into groups of four. They were all responsible for memorizing the anatomy and function of the digestive system by rewriting the lyrics to a popular song. The students chose the song. In addition, they had to sing the song (some groups even chose to play instruments as well) and make a video to show to their classmates. This project required the intellectual effort of learning the digestive system, social cooperation in working together, taking risks through performance, and all the inherent ups and downs of filming and editing a successful video. And there was much more between the lines - if you remember anything about your seventh grade year, I need not say anymore! That was a project that exhibited rigor in multiple facets.

As we move forward into this year, we have reflected on the past in our planning: through the Parent Survey; conversations with faculty, staff, trustees, parents/guardians, and students; observations in and out of classrooms; and discussions with other schools. We have learned a great deal, which has led us to engage in three initiatives.

  1. Teaching and Learning: Building on the work we have done with All Kinds of Minds, we are digging in deeper to what it takes to educate students successfully. Beginning with our summer reading, Why Don’t Students Like School?, and on into our in-service meeting with neurocognitive specialist Chuck Ahern, we began the year with an investigation of what needs to be in place cognitively for learning to occur. Learning Services Director, Toby Mickelson, and I are building on this by leading a year-long seminar for 14 teachers, helping them to make use of the relevant research and insight from neuroscience and psychology. We do so as a way to deepen our ability to work with a diverse group of learners in each class and grade level. That is, we aim to engage, prepare, and inspire each student at their highest level of ability on any given day.
  2. Diversity: While 90% of families surveyed are satisfied with the level of multicultural exposure at RDS, we know that we must go further. We must deepen our understanding of and work with diversity. Beginning with the focus groups in the spring of 2008, our Diversity Plan is moving along and will be vetted with trustees, faculty/staff, and families this fall and finalized shortly thereafter. The purpose of this plan is to build diversity into the operational structure of RDS. The SEED group is in its third year with 13 active participants. They meet monthly as a group to study diversity and connection through shared readings, films, and dramatic performances. Our faculty and staff of color continue to meet once a month as an ongoing affinity group.
  3. Green Council: Comprised of faculty, staff, parents, students, and trustees, this committee is already making inroads on school-wide environmental education and practice. From the creation of a strong recycling and composting program to our green Friday Folder, much is already in place—with more to come.

I share all this with you to let you know the key findings from the Parents Survey, as well as how we use this information. Further, I want you to know a bit more about the three initiatives we will be focusing on for the year. In sum, we are in great shape, and there are areas we continue to work on and move forward in. Or, as my dad used to tell me: “Self-satisfaction is a sure sign that your forward progress is about to stop.”

Have a great weekend.

Mike

September 4, 2009

When speaking about RDS, I always say that we take a developmental approach to how we educate our students. Most audiences nod knowingly, yet I can usually spot a few sideways glances from people who seem to wonder if they are the only ones that would like to hear more: more description, more details. In this regard, today I offer you a bit more of the philosophy and thoughts behind this approach.

When we use the term “developmental” at RDS, we’re talking about an understanding of and an appreciation for the beauty of our students’ unfolding mastery both as learners and as people. This viewpoint is based on the fact that children’s development across many areas—physical, cognitive, interpersonal, intrapersonal, emotional—is closely related, and that to effectively educate each student the teacher must be aware of their growth in all of these areas. A simple example is that a student who is in physical pain or discomfort will have difficulty learning; the same is true for the child who is lonely or who is having trouble at home.

Another layer is that we know that the development of all skills (intellectual, emotional, social, physical) happens in a somewhat orderly fashion, with more refined abilities and knowledge building over time, each layer adding greater complexity, organization, and internalization. Think of how writing develops: from recognizing letters, to reading and spelling, to first sentences (usually with no punctuation and minimal capitalization), to first paragraphs, to one-page papers, to lengthy and in-depth independent projects in the 7th and 8th grades. There is an educational aesthetic to this that is quite inspirational.

Still another layer is that no two children develop in all areas at the same time or in a uniform way—specific areas of development are refined or lag in relationship to one another. One student can be ahead in physical development and behind in social development, while on target on the emotional plane; another may be ahead in cognitive development and behind in emotional development, while on target in the physical plane. You get the picture—it’s complicated. Furthermore, students shift their relative rates of development over time so that what was lagging one year is caught up or ahead the next. Individual differences are both expected and valued in this approach to learning.

So amidst these complexities, how are we at RDS successful with students? One word: teachers. Teachers who know, inside and out, both the material and the developmental age they teach and how to draw out and build upon your child’s natural curiosity. Yes, this is the first component of Engaged. Prepared. Inspired. That is, in the classroom (and the gym and the music room and the library), a developmental approach to education requires active exploration; a mixture of individual and group activities; supportive interaction with teachers and peers; and balance between active movement and quiet activities.

Finally, (at least for this letter) in the developmental approach, students advance best when they have ample and varied opportunities to practice newly acquired skills and are challenged in ways that are just beyond their mastery. (Or, as a mentor of mine once said: “The great teachers stay 30 seconds ahead of their students. Fifty seconds ahead and students are lost; ten seconds behind and they’re bored.”) Furthermore, the deepest and most optimal learning occurs in schools where students feel valued and psychologically secure, which is just one of the reasons we so highly stress community. And family is every child’s most important community, so enjoy the long weekend together.

On another note – welcome to the first edition of our new Friday Folder! We hope you like it. Many thanks to Dan Johnston, Sarah Lehman, and Beth Frankland for their work on putting the new format into place. There may be a few changes in the coming weeks and we ask for your patience as we work out the kinks. Our goal is to provide you with a greener, more effective way of delivering information to all of our families.

Mike

 

Earlier this week Ryan Helton sent me the link to an article from the NY Times: “Let the Kid Be,’” by Lisa Belkin, where I first read the phrase “free-range parenting.” Lenore Skenazy came up with this phrase to describe an approach to parenting that is not fear-based and that extols the virtues of a much slower pace in raising our children. As summer quickly approaches, I can think of no better advice.

Come up with your own version of free-range parenting this summer, just be sure to include lots of downtime for the kids; a little boredom that eventually leads to bursts of creativity and engagement; a liberal bending of the rules that allows for more laughter and silliness; and a few more breakfasts for dinner throughout the next couple of months.

Your children, our students, have worked hard these past 10 months and they need some time to assimilate all that they have learned and to re-energize themselves. They also need to have their imaginations stretched and their curiosity engaged.

Or, as the famous Zen master Shunryu Suzuki once wrote (Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind) about control: “To give your sheep or cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him.” So let’s give our children plenty of room this summer.

Finally, remember, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Or in this case, what’s good for your child is also good for you.

See you all at Step-Up next week!

Mike

 

May 29, 2009

Our guest writer today is Jodi Freedman, 6th Grade Humanities Teacher and SEED Facilitator

It always surprises me how I am becoming more okay with not knowing the outcome of things. I come from a long line of folks who “need to know” if their efforts will be “worth it” before embarking on a big project. Facilitating our staff and faculty SEED diversity group, I never know how the meetings are going to turn out, what people will share, and what we will learn. Wherever we are when we reach the end of our monthly three-hour meeting, that’s where we are. It makes me see how truly complex issues of race, gender, diversity and inclusion are: the work and growth are never done.

For the past two years, the SEED group at RDS has provided faulty and staff the opportunity to examine their own lives and backgrounds, and to learn about others in order to create a community where all members are valued and supported. We engage in activities, readings, and film discussions that focus on diversity and connection. Learning more about ourselves and listening to each other help create and support a more balanced, equitable, inclusive and understanding community.

The RDS SEED group is part of the National SEED Project on Inclusive Curriculum, which is in its twenty-third year of establishing teacher-led educator development seminars in schools. As a trained SEED facilitator, I proposed the idea of creating a SEED group when I joined RDS, and Mike was very excited about the idea. The first year we had eight faculty and staff members; this year we have 14 participants, some new and some returning. Through readings and videos and personal sharing we have examined the “textbook on the shelves” and the “textbook of our lives” including issues of gender, race, white privilege, poverty, and sexuality.

The members of SEED have this to say about their experience, “Formally and informally, in and out of SEED, intentionally and sometimes totally incidentally, we’ve talked and thought deeply about an extraordinarily wide range of issues of privilege, inclusion, diversity, and culture. The support RDS gives SEED has allowed us to tackle issues from diverse perspectives and encouraged us to adapt and integrate some of our new thinking and ideas into our work here. We know that we’ve been enriched by the experience and we think the RDS community has as well.”

Our work in SEED is ongoing and rich. Feel free to come talk with me about SEED. I’d love to share and to listen.

Jodi Freedman
SEED Facilitator
6th Grade Humanities Teacher

May 15, 2009

As our end-of-the-year festivities pick up speed, now is also the time when we plan and think about the next school year. As we reflect on curriculum and program each year, we continually seek ways to deepen our commitment to our core values as a school. This year, we have thought much about RDS in terms of our community and the environment. In this regard, we have a few changes planned for the upcoming year that we anticipate becoming part of the fabric of our school.

Since early this year, we have been researching what it will take for RDS to become a greener and more environmentally sustainable school. We have met with the Parents’ Association’s Green Committee, faculty, staff, and trustees, and worked with Deborah Moore, a nationally-known consultant who has had great success in helping schools become green. Through this process, we have learned a great deal, and this spring formed a Green Council that will advise us on how to achieve the general goal of becoming a more environmentally aware and responsible school. The committee is comprised of faculty, staff, parents, trustees, and students, and is led by our Director of Enrichment and After-School Programs, Meredith Spencer. As we move forward, Deborah Moore will continue to consult with the Green Council, which convenes its first meeting next week. We will keep the community apprised of our advances through the Friday Folder, the website, and other—green!—methods.

Next year, we will also assertively move towards more electronic communication and phase out much of our paper usage. Friday Folders will be distributed online in both divisions, with a limited number of paper copies still available in the Gallery. Progress reports and middle school three-week reports will be electronic. The Student Handbook will also be distributed online, in a downloadable format.

In line with our environmental objectives, we have also reviewed what we cover in middle school science and, to this end, will incorporate the study of the environment into next year’s sixth-grade curriculum, with even more in-depth environmental studies in eighth grade. The capstone of these curricular changes is a shift in the eighth grade outdoor education trip. For the past six years, students have gone to Washington, D.C. for a week of exploring history in our nation’s capital.

Next year, the trip will be to Catalina Island for a program offered jointly by Catalina Island Camps and the Ocean Futures Society (founded by Jean-Michel Cousteau, son of Jacques Cousteau). The focus is on the environment, and the trip is meant as the final piece of increased curricular attention on issues of sustainability. Through the inspirational natural environment of Catalina Island, students will learn and experience how they can make a positive difference in living more sustainable lives. Team-building challenges and activities will include: an introduction to basic snorkeling skills and using them to study the kelp bed ecosystem; an ecology hike in which students will search for endemic plants and animals and discuss the impact of humans and introduced plants and animals on the island ecosystems; education on sustainable living through conservation, recycling, reuse, and alternative energy; experience with gardening and composting; and one of the highlights, a night snorkel complete with underwater flashlights.

In terms of our ongoing work on diversity, the Diversity Strategic Plan Committee has been meeting all year and next fall will solicit feedback from the community on the working document they are creating this spring and summer. The effort of this committee is an outgrowth of the nineteen focus groups we conducted in the spring of 2008 and has been guided by our consultant, Francie Kendall.

As expected, the committee’s work is already initiating changes in the School. That is, one of their early draft recommendations was to look at what holidays the School celebrates and how we celebrate them. As a direct result of this reflection, next year we will inaugurate César Chávez Service Day on March 31, 2010. On that day, the entire school – K-8 students, faculty and staff – will devote the first half of the day to service in our community; in the afternoon we will reconvene at RDS to discuss our experiences and to learn more about César Chávez and his life’s work.

We have also made both a date and venue change to our largest single community event: Winter Concert. Next year’s Winter Concert will be held at Kofman Auditorium on February 11. The change of venue ensures that our entire K-8 community can gather in one place to celebrate our rich tradition of musical performances. The change in timing falls more in line with our curriculum as it gives students and teachers an additional seven weeks of study and practice, and creates less disruption around the already-shortened month of December.

Finally, I would like to thank all the parents and guardians who took the time to complete our annual Parents’ Survey. Over the spring, the department heads will read every comment and discuss them as a group. This will inform our work over the summer and the goals we set for next year. In addition, I will write a Friday Folder highlighting some of the results of the survey—qualitative and quantitative. With that said, we can already say that the key quantitative aspects of the survey as reported back to us by our statistical consultant are quite favorable: 96% satisfaction with RDS, 92% satisfaction with the Mission Statement, and 90% satisfaction with the exposure to multicultural perspectives. And, of course, there is much insightful feedback that points the way to continued improvement as a learning community, which is the main reason we conduct this annual survey. So again, thanks for taking the time and energy to share your experiences with us.

Have a great weekend,

Mike

 

Today's guest writer is Diane Johnson, Outreach Director

May 8, 2009

During admission events for prospective families, I speak with great pride about our program, and how it is inspired and informed by current research on the human brain and child development. I often wonder how the audience reacts to this because I imagine what they expect to hear is more about whether our campus is safe, how we evaluate our students’ progress, where children eat lunch and so on. At these events, parents often just want to learn the practical, logistical information of day-to-day life at Redwood Day School. Because we have limited time, and we must present an overview of the program, I can never elaborate and go deeply into the discussion I want to have, which is to really let them know that brain research matters to us all. The understanding and integration of this research is what makes Redwood Day School different.

When teachers understand how information travels through the brain’s filters, they can prepare the environment so that students really learn academically. At the same time, they are teaching students to delay gratification, build internal motivations, develop persistence, and practice self-discipline. Information must get to your prefrontal cortex: the thinking part of the brain. The prefrontal cortex is involved in problem solving, feeling, expressing emotions, complex thoughts, attention and focus. Knowing how best to get information there requires a skilled educator. Our brains have developed a complex filtering system. We have billions of bits of information inundating us at all times. Our filters are the gate-keepers and determine what is important enough to let in.

A great teacher primes the filters, and opens a mind up for learning. For example, the amygdala is the part of the brain that relates to memory retention, learning, and emotional reaction. A lower school teacher who understands that the amygdala’s effective filter is impacted by stress will work to plan for stability and familiarity in her classroom logistics so the learning experiences have a clearer passage through this filter.

A middle school teacher who understands that novelty is the key to the Reticular Activating System might prepare lessons that include music, costumes, and movement. Memory retention best occurs with connections to emotional experiences. Students need to have the connection of “here, me now.” Understanding this, teachers deliver their lessons in a variety of ways to get through the brain’s filters and to the final goal, a release of dopamine. Dopamine, the brain’s neurotransmitter, increases focus and function in the frontal lobes.

So, you can start to see why brain research matters to you, and to your child. Sustained attention and focus connects new information input to working memory and consolidated working memory to strong long-term memory. All of this to say, you have given your children the gift of a lifetime. You have selected not only a safe, challenging academic experience, but an educational experience that is interactive, relevant to them, and interesting.

Have a great weekend,

Diane

If you are as intrigued as I am by this research, I recommend that you pick up a copy of How Your Child Learns Best: Brain-Friendly Strategies You Can Use to Ignite Your Child's Learning and Increase School Success (paperback), by Judy Willis, MD, M.Ed.

 

 

May 1, 2009

We all recognize the behavioral pattern associated with our children when they are going through a growth spurt. A few days before this leap, they get moody, clumsy, and impatient. Sometimes they consume huge amounts of food and other times they barely touch their pasta. With time, we come to understand the pattern: this particular constellation of behaviors means physical growth in the next few days. And the reality is that the growth typically occurs over the course of one night. That is, growth hormones are released during sleep so our kids can literally grow up to 1/8th inch over the course of a night. Looking at our children at breakfast or on the ride home after one of these physical spurts, we may chastise ourselves for not paying closer attention. We think to ourselves that the explanation must be that we are not looking closely enough to have noticed this change. But the reality is that all the precursors for growth were in play all along, though just out of our view.

Stretching this concept of growth spurts (pun intended) better informs us to what happens in our children during these last couple of months of school: learning spurts. All year long they have been taking in new information, learning and refining skills, and clarifying their self-identities. To date, learning has often been three steps forward, one step back. But in May and June, this pace shifts. Now instead of steps forward, students frequently take leaps forward. The kindergartener who goes from a non-reader to a voracious reader over the course of a couple of weeks; the guitar player who makes the leap from open chords to bar chords seemingly overnight; or the struggling rope-jumper who is suddenly doing multiple trick jumps. It is education at its most beautiful.

As with physical growth, the learning growth throughout the year may go unnoticed for periods of time. In the spring, it is suddenly on display for all to see. And frequently this growth is inspiring: the art and music shows, the songs at assembly, the plays (the first ever RDS musical!), the newfound ease with math problem sets, the sporting events, the science fairs.

As you take in the array of public events this spring, be sure to pause long enough to reflect on all the growth—physical, intellectual, emotional, and social—that has occurred in your child and her peers since September. Really take it in. Then, be sure to let your child see the effect their learning spurts have had on you. This attention is the glue that solidifies and helps our children internalize all this growth. And a bit later, stop by and let their teacher know what you have seen. They will appreciate this more than words can ever convey.

Have a great weekend!

Mike

 

Today's guest writer is Warren Sepkowitz, Assistant Head of School and Middle School Director

April 24, 2009

Serendipity has always been one of my favorite words, and I smiled when I inadvertently sent some school committee notes to the Lower School families on Monday. I had meant for the e-mail to drop into the boxes of Lower School faculty, but it went to a much different audience. Surprisingly and enjoyably, I received many marvelous comments from Lower School families on the work that the School had done and is doing with regard to the social studies/history curriculum.

As it turns out, there is no Barbara Eden from I Dream of Jeannie who blinks curricular work and change. It is a group of dedicated educators, who come together during and after school to examine what it is that our graduates need to know. We began our work in August with the entire Lower School faculty and staff, Adele Madelo (7th/8th grade history), Jodi Freedman (6th grade humanities), Jeanne Coyne Song, Denise Breland and me. We used different lenses each month as we did an inventory of our curriculum: history, geography, global studies, multiculturalism, anti-bias, and social justice. We governed ourselves with a few questions:What are we doing presently?

  • What is it that our graduates need to know?
  • What is developmentally appropriate?
  • What are our gaps and repetitions? Are they intentional?
  • What is the continuity between teachers at the same grade and from grade to grade?
  • What commendations and recommendations can we make so that RDS can make some positive changes?

Members of our committee have worked hard to create the very best social studies/history curriculum we can provide for your children, and you have seen much of our work. And there is more work to do, because next year we will be spending the year doing similar committee work in the discipline of science, which has some direct and indirect connections with social studies and history. This what healthy schools do, intentionally examining what is working well and exploring what needs to be improved. So many voices and hopes must be heard and integrated in rethinking and implementing curriculum. For instance,

  • How and when is a global perspective introduced?
  • When are the research skills of note-taking, citing sources, and writing a thesis statement introduced?
  • Whose voices are heard in US history? Whose voices are not heard?
  • How is the lens of multiculturalism woven throughout the curriculum?
  • What is the continuity between grade levels?
  • How is technology integrated into the learning experience?
  • How are field trips and guest speakers decided?
  • How do projects enhance learning in social studies, and how can projects be integrated to access more academic disciplines?

The list of questions goes on and on in healthy conversations and dialogue in committee work, because we are committed to providing your children an excellent education.

Your voice in how we are doing is essential as well, and I encourage you to complete the parent survey (see below). Your insights are vital to the health of the school.

Have a great weekend,

Warren

April 17, 2009

Our guest writer today is Thelma Lancaster, Cooking & Computer Teacher; Chief Interstices Director

This is a torrential query in computer lab. It pushes my buttons, so I have been reflecting and mulling over why it has such a powerful impact on me.

As parents, we want to help our children. When they are very young, we support every footstep, literally and figuratively. We are so engaged in the process of helping, that it is difficult to step back and evaluate what is truly “helpful.” In the computer lab, a kindergartener’s challenge is to follow logical sequential processing, moving from one step at a time to five-, six-, seven-part instructions. The help-rules posted are to first think, second look at the board at the written instructions, third ask a neighbor, and fourth ask the teacher. Time and again, the students turn immediately to me, because I am an adult and they are in the habit of mind to seek answers and validation for each step from an adult. It is my struggle too, not to immediately answer. True help is to let them continuously push the envelope of their own abilities to figure it out. By helping them at each individual step, I am robbing them of their potential to truly learn.

When teaching cooking, I also see this dependency. Rather than rassling with challenges, with the scope of an entire recipe, students just want the answer: “what do I do next?” The anxiety of confusion strips them of the joy of working out a complexity. We do them such a disservice to solve their problems, ease the path, “help.” This place of muddled search, trying different solutions, doing it yourself, is the foundation to the brilliance of humanity. Again, as parents, we want them to do it “right.” So we don’t have them wash the dishes because they won’t be clean enough. They don’t make complicated food because they might do it wrong. The power of mistakes and imperfect production as a positive learning tool is lost. Our parental feedback to their efforts too often is noticing that the dish is not clean enough, rather than celebrating their long arduous path to achievement. In six months they will have clean dishes; it is our job to support the struggle, not clean the plates.

When we validate each step a child makes, they become emotionally dependent on that input for every process. They look to others as key arbiters of their learning. Intrinsic motivation, desire to figure something out for oneself, perseverance through imperfect products and joy in independently discovering the next step: these are the true goals of helping launch a life-time learner.

This parental codex, to pull back and back and back, continues for a lifetime. The failure to launch of twenty-somethings is our legacy of “help.” When my twenty-something son asks for advice, “what should I do next,” my best response should be to support his decision-making. I must admit, advice slithers out of my mouth, even as the blood drips from trying to bite my tongue. But I am trying.

Thelma

 

April 1, 2009

During this upcoming Spring Break, there is at least one important skill and habit you can reinforce in your children. According to author and historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, who has written biographies of four U.S. presidents, it is an ability common to all of our great leaders.

“I would add here that one more success factor is key for great leadership, be it in business or politics, and it’s one that’s usually overlooked. As a leader you need to know how to relax so that you can replenish your energies for the struggles facing you tomorrow.”
--Harvard Business Review, April 2009, “Leadership Lessons from Abraham Lincoln”

Leadership explicitly includes working with the stress that accompanies making difficult decisions on a regular basis. The same is true for growing up in a quickly and ever changing society. Therefore, the ability to relax and rejuvenate on a regular basis, despite the stress that surrounds one, is imperative to both success and happiness.

This relaxation and rejuvenation comes in many forms: shooting baskets, reading science fiction, playing piano, taking an afternoon nap, playing thirty minutes of a video game, enjoying a few mindful deep breaths. Watch your children and they’ll show you how they rejuvenate. Then make it conscious for them; that is, help them recognize the strategies they already employ. Who knows, you may even discover a few to add to your repertoire.

Have a wonderful break—create and soak up those moments of relaxation at every opportunity.

Mike

Today's guest writer is Ray Wilson, Upper School Director

March 27, 2009

“Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children.”
Sitting Bull, Sioux Chief

This quote has resonated with me throughout my educational career because of the profound charge for intentional collaboration among everyone who has the ability and position to influence children. Working in schools is the optimal place for such partnerships to take place. Whether it is the classroom teacher, administration, staff, parents, or coaches, each has a responsibility to think beyond themselves and to look ahead at the future. It is apparent that in doing so, students must be given the space and tools to be an active participant in the shaping of the world in which they inhabit.

Children have the capacity to meaningful impact the world in which they live, and the world in which they will inherit. By dwelling on the latter, it is amazingly clear that all schools have the distinct opportunity to prepare students for what lies ahead by creating experiences that aim at helping students begin their journey to discovering their sense of purpose and how, through their talents and resources, they can positively make a difference in the world.

As we plan for our high school, preparing students to be active in their community is an integral part of the curriculum. Integrating programming that promotes sustainability and eco-literacy, four-year financial planning, and philanthropy programs, RDS upper school students will be able to creatively address the demands placed upon them by the world they will inherit. More importantly, through continuous dialogue amongst all involved in the partnership, students included, a genuine understanding and willingness to work together will make our upper school a vibrant and cohesive educational community.

Many of the elements of the upper school community described above are a continuation of the dynamic K-8 program at RDS. For example, as our lower school students worked together on the Good Cents program, it became clear that a rich conversation emerged about the positive impact their decision made on society, and specifically the homeless, through their decision to support the East Oakland Community Project (http://www.eocp.net/).

As a community, we are definitely working towards a common goal of being the best we can be to support our children. There is a distinct energy on campus, embedded in the laughter and supportive exchanges between adults and students, that illustrates RDS students are engaged, prepared, and inspired to be our future leaders.

So in the words of Sitting Bull, “Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children.”

See you around campus!

Ray Wilson
Upper School Director

March 20, 2009

Rebecca Denison does an amazing job of selecting and booking guests for our weekly All School Assemblies. She gets a wide range of talent, from Chinese acrobats, to wild cats, to Caribbean musicians. I have come to completely trust her judgment and timing in bookings. But this week, when she handed me the agenda and it said “René Bibaud, Professional Rope Jumper,” I had my doubts…. I should have known better.

René is a five-time world champion, ESPN commentator, and former artist and coach of Cirque du Soleil. She began the assembly by showing the audience a video of one of her performances with Cirque du Soleil—she later performed part of that routine for all of us. But her message was not about her success as a performer or rope jumper, it was about the path to success, in any endeavor.

In between her rope jumping display and her working with RDS student volunteers on their nascent rope jumping abilities, she shared three tips she learned from her long time coach, Bob Melson: “1) Don’t compare yourself to others – just work at your own level; 2) Don’t worry about mistakes; 3) Always give it your best.”

It all began for René in elementary school, when her PE teacher started a jump rope team, “The Hot Dogs.” She tried out and was cut. She did not, however, quit. Instead, she applied herself and practiced hard, eventually turning herself into the champion she is today. With this as background, and through the use of our student volunteers, she was able to again and again reinforce the three pieces of advice coach Melson shared.

With 8th graders Alex, Jared, and Ruby, she began by asking each if they would do their best. They agreed. She asked if it was okay if they made mistakes, especially considering that none of them is a professional rope jumper. They agreed. Finally, she asked if they would only focus on themselves. They agreed. Five minutes later, with smiles on their faces, each was well on the way to learning “The Pretzel,” which is even more difficult than it sounds. (Ask your children more about that.)

When Desmond, Nadia, Parker, Darius and Samantha came up and jumped up and down to the rhythm of audience clapping, René jumped behind each, matched their individual rhythm, and encircled each in her twirling rope - she again stressed coach Melson’s teachings.

Finally, Leila (1st grade) and Parker (K) joined her, and she pulled it all together in an RDS Magical Moment: Leila held two ropes at her side while René grabbed the other end. Emphasizing the same three points, she asked Parker if he had ever Double-Dutched before. He had not. In fact, he had no idea what it meant. Rene didn’t hesitate. “Would you like to learn?” He agreed. With Leila holding the ropes, she instructed Parker to begin jumping up and down. René in turn slowly twirled the ropes such that Parker was doing the basic Double-Dutch. Then somehow René, Leila, and Parker fell into synch, and the ropes became a blur as Parker jumped, spun around, danced, and waved to the crowd all while Double-Dutching! It was Cirque du Soleil a la Redwood Day School.

Focus on yourself and your own work; mistakes are to be expected and are okay; and give your best. Good advice for rope jumping and living.

Have a great weekend.

Mike

 

Today's Guest Writer is Jeff Weiler, Chief Financial Officer/Asst Head of School

Most kids look forward to summer vacation. For some it’s a time for travel, others look forward to summer programs. Middle school kids in particular relish the thought of sleeping in, no homework, and the virtually unfettered opportunity to text friends and “hang.”

But it’s still March. Other than parents contemplating summer programs, most summer thoughts are daydreams that don’t entail serious planning. Most, but not all.

The Business Office does more than pay bills and collect tuition. We also take care of the physical campus. And with 360 kids and 70 adults active in 50,000 square feet of space on nearly four acres of land, there’s a lot to take care of.

Our summer planning starts about a week before school opens. That’s when we realize that, once again, we’re not going to get through our entire list of projects. Sure, the big items got checked off, but there are always more “nice to do’s” than time to do them. For example, last summer we wanted to repaint the locker rooms, but time ran out. Like the Brooklyn Dodgers of old, our battle cry is “Wait until next year!”

March is when serious planning begins. There’s the routine stuff, like scheduling fire sprinkler testing and fire marshal inspections. Assigning rooms for summer programs is always tough, because we typically paint about half the rooms every summer and won’t know which ones will really need work until later.

And there’s the less routine stuff. Painting and general maintenance just keep things going. Capital projects are permanent improvements, and every summer we aim to start at least one project that will produce lasting benefits. They can be grand and impressive, like new buildings, subtle, like landscaping, or almost invisible, like energy-efficient lighting or upgraded boiler controls.

So what lies ahead for this summer? We’re assembling suggestions now, and the final list won’t be locked in until the Board approves the list in May, but we’re mindful that the economy is rocky and that grandiose schemes are going to have to wait for another time. Thrift is in, so we’re going to continue our focus on smaller projects that can save energy and water, or that help kids do a better job recycling.

Small things can make a big difference in a teacher’s life, and no teacher has ever had enough storage. Especially in the lower grades, many teachers end up shuttling boxes of materials from home to school to home, all year long. Building teacher storage isn’t a glamorous project, but it’s one that may be appreciated more than many larger projects.

So if you’re ready to start thinking about summer, think about Redwood. It’s not just teachers and administrators who have brilliant ideas. The old saying is that sometimes you can’t see the forest because of all the trees in the way. When it comes to improvements, sometimes folks working in schools can’t see the trees because of all the darned leaves.

Shoot me an e-mail if you have an idea, or if there’s a facilities question you’ve been itching to ask. It may only be March, but it’s time to start thinking about summer.

Sincerely,

Jeff Wieler

 

March 5, 2009

They say that patience is a virtue…if so, our Redwood Day community is very virtuous indeed! In January 2008, our site negotiations first began for the Golf Links Road property, and we want to let you know that we remain in active discussions with the Redemptorists as we turn the corner into spring 2009. Though it seems hard to believe that the deal has not yet closed, we were reminded by a commercial realtor at the beginning of this process that negotiations can easily take 15 to18 months to complete. Real estate is a complex business in any climate, one made all the more complex with the current economic conditions.

In December 2008, we had every reason to believe we were moments away from a final agreement. Then issues beyond our control intervened, and out of respect to the applicants interested in our 9th grade program, we determined it was best to delay the opening by a year. We are developing creative solutions to the problems that arose a few months ago and we are confident that as we continue to engage the Redemptorists in the next couple of months, we will complete the deal. One way or another, we will have clarity on this site by late spring of this year.

Thank you for your continued trust and patience as we work towards securing this extraordinary site for the future of Redwood Day Upper School. We continue to move forward with our expansion from a K-8 to a K-12 institution. That vision has been and continues to be inspirational. Families like yours are the reason that we began this search for a high school site in the first place, and your encouragement and support have sustained us through the twists and turns of negotiation. We are humbled to have such an enthusiastic, creative, and generous community of friends behind Redwood Day School, and we look forward to reporting to you once again in late spring, if not sooner. Thank you.

 Sincerely yours,

Joe Di Prisco                                                                           Mike Riera
Chair, Board of Trustees                                                        Head of School

February 27, 2009

During our Wednesday All-School Assembly we witnessed an inspired performance by a Chinese Acrobat Troupe from Beijing, China. I’m not sure that I have ever seen our audience—K through 8, faculty and staff—so rapt for an entire program. The five performers dazzled and bedazzled the crowd from start to finish. From gymnastics, to foot juggling, to board balancing on a rolling pin, to unicycle riding - these performers had it all.

For all of us it was not only the gravity-defying feats and the incredible displays of both strength and flexibility that stood out, but also the ease with which they performed each act. Both were equally impressive. The performers were the epitome of grace.

Throughout the rest of the day, I caught myself replaying the images of their performance, searching within my body for what it might feel like to try some of these feats. (Yes, all of us who work in education, like your children, have active imaginations!) Walking the playground I watched as students attempted to recreate aspects of the performance, some within the guidelines of acceptable behavior, some not. Some students grasped marginal success, others not. All to say the acrobats’ performance lingered long after they left campus.

At the conclusion of the day I was in a meeting with administrators and staff. Over the previous two months we had had the assignment to observe one middle school teacher in action. (We had observed lower school teachers in the fall and will observe specialist teachers in the spring.) In this meeting we were debriefing on what each of us had observed and what we had learned about teaching middle school students. The conversation was also interspersed with moments of laughter as our own middle school years, often unexpectedly, bloomed in front of us.

At one point during the discussion, I found myself repeating and savoring some of the words I had heard more than a few times in descriptions of our middle school teachers: vulnerable, humorous, flexible, strong, risk-taking, authentic, quirky, limit-setting, connected, and honest. Yes, I thought to myself, these are the qualities necessary to succeed with middle school students. For example, some aspect of vulnerability in a teacher is necessary to gain students’ trust. That is, vulnerability resonates with all middle school students because they themselves are so vulnerable. Furthermore, as a result, and for better and worse, they have finely-honed radar for vulnerability in others. If one pretends not to be vulnerable they never connect, but if one is too vulnerable they pounce. Humor is another example. Only the teachers who can authentically laugh at themselves can invite students to look at themselves and their own behavior through a humorous lens.

Walking to my car at the end of the day I realized that acrobats and teachers require some of the same qualities for success, though in slightly different measure. The acrobat needs to be physically flexible, while the teacher needs to be psychologically and socially flexible. The acrobat needs incredible body strength, while the teacher needs the strength to continually hang in there on lessons and students. The acrobat needs to connect with the audience to gather support and encouragement to accomplish gravity-defying feats, while the teacher needs to connect so the students will open themselves to new ideas and new places within themselves.

But most of all, like ducks swimming in a pond, acrobats and teachers need to move gracefully and effortlessly through the water while just below the surface, out of eyesight, they are paddling like mad. And neither the acrobat nor the teacher can let the audience see how hard they truly are working or the magic is lost: A tough and beautiful balancing act, for acrobat and teacher alike.

Have a great weekend, and be sure to ask your children about the assembly.

Mike

 

February 13, 2009

“Of all forms of mental activity, the most difficult to induce even in the minds of the young, who may be presumed not to have lost their flexibility, is the art of handling the same bundle of data as before, but placing them in a new system of relations with one another by giving them a different framework, all of which virtually means putting on a different kind of thinking-cap for the moment. It is easy to teach anybody a new fact. … but it needs light from heaven above to enable a teacher to break the old framework in which the student is accustomed to seeing.”

-- Learning and Leading with Habits of Mind, edited by Arthur L. Costa and Bena Kallick.

In their new book, authors Arthur L. Costa and Bena Kallick focus on the skills successful students need to produce knowledge rather than simply reproduce it. They present seventeen different habits of mind, which I’m happy to report reads like the philosophy and practice of education we employ at RDS. Today I write about one of these habits that is held in high regard at our school, and by the authors as well: Flexible Thinking.

There are five different forms of flexible thinking that the authors describe and that are addressed in the RDS curriculum and program.

  1. Egocentrism: From the work of Piaget, this describes our most typical perceptual perception, seeing only our own point of view. This happens when a student is asked for his or her opinion.
  2. Allocentrism: This is the opposite of egocentrism and is seeing something through the eyes of another. This happens on the playground when an adult asks a child to imagine a troublesome incident from the other student’s perspective or when a teacher asks students to describe what they imagine a book character was thinking or feeling. The most recent, obvious examples of this were the Annual Eighth Grade Wax Museum presentations.
  3. Macrocentric: This is akin to the bird’s eye-view, looking down as an event unfolds, which is how we learn to discern patterns and themes of interactions. This occurs when a teacher asks students - when debriefing a group project - about the different roles they each played and what worked or didn’t work in their group.
  4. Microcentric: The opposite of macrocentric, this involves examining the minute parts that make up the whole. This is detailed analysis. This happens when we teach grammar and diagram a sentence into its various components or when students dissect a frog in science class.
  5. Lateral thinking: More complex than the four listed above is the ability to consider multiple points of view with an open mind and to allow new information to change one’s mind. This occurs when students listen to and participate in debates or when they examine an accomplishment in history from the differing perspectives of people involved.

During this upcoming Presidents’ Week break, look for these different types of flexible thinking in action with your children. You can even shift their thinking from time to time with thoughtful questions, leading them from their typical egocentric mode to one of the other forms described above. The beauty of this is that the content is not important; it’s the shifting of perspectives that is both challenging and rewarding.

The flexible thinking described above is one of the many reasons that RDS works so hard to invite in and work with all kinds of diversity: social, ethnic, economic, racial, gender, sexual orientation. Or, in the words of the authors: “Flexibility of mind is essential for working with social diversity, enabling an individual to recognize the wholeness and distinctness of other people's ways of experiencing and making meaning.” That is, the only way to fully embrace diversity is through flexible thinking. And, this ability to think flexibly is one of the best predictors of our children’s future success and happiness.

The most recent edition of the Harvard Business Review took this one step further:

“Diversity is not only essential for the survival of the species, it is also a prerequisite for long-term corporate vitality. Organizations that don’t embrace, encourage, and exploit a diversity of experiences, values, and capabilities will be unable to generate a rich variety of ideas, options and experiments—the essential ingredients of strategic renewal.” (Harvard Business Review, “Moon Shots for Management,” Gary Hamel, February 2009, pg. 93)

Finally, as you take a look at the description of a sampling of the activities the School has done around diversity during the new year—in the Diversity Corner on the following page—look for how each of these invites in a new way of thinking in our students, your children.

Have a wonderful Presidents’ Week.

Mike

February 6, 2009

The keynote speaker at last Saturday’s Parent University, Stanford professor and author Dr. Denise Pope, was a breath of fresh air for all in attendance. Her information was clear, informative, research-based, and above all else, useful.

She covered a range of topics in her keynote and her follow-up workshop, but I want to focus on just one of her main ideas: PDF. (And no, I don’t mean Portable Document Format.) This acronym is meant to help parents and guardians create a healthy environment for their children, and it stands for adequate Play time, Down time, and Family time. To put this in perspective, research shows that the average child has lost 10-12 hours of free, unstructured playtime since 1981.

Play time means unstructured play. This is when children shoot baskets, build forts, make a drawing, play tag or hide and go seek with friends. The key is that it is not structured, which means it’s not practice for soccer team or piano lessons. It’s time when children create their own play.

Dr. Pope gave as an example Steve Jobs, who was a tinkerer as a child. According to a former neighbor, he was always building things and experimenting in his garage, and not often with successful results. This same neighbor, when recently recounting this story, wondered what would have happened to Steve Jobs had his parents not allowed him all this playtime and instead had insisted on lots of extracurricular scheduling: flute lessons, test prep courses, travel teams.

Down time is the time kids need to wind down from an earlier activity—during the week this is often what they need when they get home from school. Every child is different in how they unwind: for some it’s a favorite television show, for others listening to music while laying down, and for others a favorite computer game. The key is that these are transition activities. For instance, playing on the computer when a child gets home from school is the transition between the structured time of school and either unstructured playtime, family time, or homework.

Family time is just that, time with the family. This means time engaged with family, not just passively watching the same television show together. Research has shown that the ideal (and what makes the biggest positive differences in the lives of individual family members and the family itself) is 20 minutes of check-in time with the whole family at least five times per week. Often this happens at dinner, but it is by no means limited to family meals. That is, you can be creative: in the car together or on a family walk. Already I can hear a few readers of older children lamenting, “I’ve tried this but he doesn’t want to check in with me. All his responses are one word no matter how good my open-ended questions!” Have no fear, he’s listening and he knows you are interested, which, when it’s all said and done, is probably just as important, if not more, than the content of what he says. Your actions are saying you care and you are there for him. This counts!

For more information on Dr. Pope and her research, visit her website: http://www.challengesuccess.org/Home/tabid/688/Default.aspx

Finally, huge kudos to Helena Weiss-Duman and her team of RDS parent volunteers for hosting yet another terrific Parent University. And as in the past, the non-RDS parents/guardians who attended went out of their way to compliment the School on the quality of the event and to give deep thanks for being included.

Have a great weekend.

Mike

January 30, 2009

Wednesday, the day of our second Oratorical Festival, was a day steeped in history, courage, and inspiration. A sampling of the great orators over time stared us in the face as we entered. Oding Muata, Middle School Art Teacher, created portraits with quotes of seven famous orators:

"Speak your mind, even when your voice shakes."
Maggie Kuhn (founder of the Gray Panthers)

"The name of the game is to talk to people. If you don't talk to people, you can't get started."
César Chávez

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
Nelson Mandela

"We are the ones we've been waiting for."
Barack Obama

"There are those who look at things and ask why. I look at things and ask why not."
George Bernard Shaw

"We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize."
Thich Nhat Hahn

"Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning."
Maya Angelou

Walking into the gym was like visiting a wing of the Hall of Fame of Orators. Immediately one knew that our event would not be conducted in isolation, rather it was a piece of the flow of history, as well as history in the making. It was also a tribute to past and current examples of courage, and an inspiration to future moments yet to unfold.

It was literally a history of courage on display for our audience and performers. In the midst of the program, I couldn’t help but marvel at the ongoing power of words to inspire actions. For example, when any of these notables gave a speech, had they any idea that school children, in a tribute to them and their ideas, would be willing to get up and speak in front of 400 peers and teachers? I doubt it. And I know that those same students who had the courage to perform will underestimate the ripple effect of their own actions: whether to inspire directly or to open the door for someone in the audience to become inspired down the road.

Deeper for me is that the courage we celebrated on Wednesday was in the embrace of taking on greater complexity rather than less. In the Hollywood-stylized version of courage it is invariably simplified: good guys and bad guys, good and evil, life and death. In reality, it often means a willingness to entertain confusion and more (rather than less) complexity. For example, one subtle aspect of courage is to entertain the idea that what we think we know for sure may not be the entire picture. In this instance courage requires, as a first step, that we take an honest look in the mirror and acknowledge what is reflected back: good, bad, or indifferent. Then, as a further requirement, we must take action on what we have come to understand. To understand and not act is a betrayal of the self—which is the stuff unearthed in therapist offices years later.

Therefore it is important to become familiar with the nuances and complexity of courage. This deeper understanding allows one to more often spot where it is needed and where it falters: whether with friends, making a decision, standing up for oneself, apologizing for a hurtful action, not speaking out, or speaking out.

These kinds of moments and conversations are both intellectual and character building. It takes brainpower and conviction to wrap one’s arms around some of the contexts, perspectives, and shadings of true courage. And it surely takes character to acknowledge shortcomings and take the necessary actions to rectify past transgressions.

At RDS, I believe we prize the complexity that is courage in the realms of intellect, character and action. In this way courage is viral, long lasting, and ever growing. Most curious of all, in the context of a school, we get to see how this quality is a developmental feat of huge proportions, and fortunately something that we get to witness frequently.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Mike

January 23, 2009

January 20, 2009
(Comments around RDS the Day After)

I felt really excited when the man (Supreme Court Justice Roberts) said “Mr. President.” He did it, he did it! I don't just speak for myself when I say that it made everyone feel really happy.
—5th grade

There is a president who looks like me!
—K

It's the first inauguration I've ever watched.
—6th grade

I liked that in his speech that President Obama said "all the people" instead of "all men" when he was talking about Martin Luther King's speech.
—3rd grade

It was a big step up. There are arguments that there is still a lot of racism in America. But today many people came together to go in the same direction.
—6th grade

I hope that people can marry whoever they want.
—K

It was a very exciting day because he is the first African American president.
—5th grade

I liked seeing all the presidents there.
—3rd grade

I saw Jan's son sing! (Brandon Johnson, who is in 7th grade, sang with the SF Boys Chorus. RDS 7th grader Devi Panagos also sang as part of the SF Boys & Girls Choruses.)
—1st grade

He seems honest, and that means he will tell people how things really are, even if it’s ugly or unpleasant
—7th grade

I hope he will give to and help those of us who are less fortunate. I hope America can become a leader and friend to all countries - except the unjust.
—7th grade

I felt really amazed that our first black president is here and that we could have change in America.
—5th grade

It was very historical and inspiring.
—8th grade

I hope he helps the banks to have money for everyone.
—K

I thought I'd be bored but I wasn't. The speech caught my interest.
—6th grade

I hope that people don’t fight anymore.
—K

I liked that lady who sang. (Aretha Franklin)
—1st grade

Such a great speaker!
—7th grade

Part of Martin Luther King’s dream came true because he talked about whites and blacks singing together and they did.
—6th grade

The speech rang true to his promises of hope and change.
—8th grade

I liked the rhymes Rev. Joseph Lowery made.
—6th grade
(“Help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right.")

I hope that President Obama works us out of the recession.
—7th grade

He is our 1st black president so he made history.
—8th grade

I was really excited that Barack Obama was going to be president and it was cool to get to school at 7am and watch it on a big screen.
—5th grade

The speech was inspirational.
—5th grade

How much will he change the world? I think he really will.
—5th grade

I'll always know where I was when I was 14 and we elected the first African-American president. That's really cool.
—7th grade

It was amazing. It showed change in our nation and how everyone can come together to make a big difference. I liked watching it at school because it felt united watching with my friends.
—8th grade

And a new tradition every four years, watching and discussing the Presidential Inauguration (no matter the political party) was started at RDS.

Have a great weekend.

Mike

 

January 9, 2009

Over the break one of the books I read was “Talent is Overrated” by Geoff Colvin. The author has conducted an extensive review of the literature on exceptional performers—Mozart, Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps, Yo-Yo Ma—and reached the conclusion that, as the title says, talent is overrated. By this he means that the research does not support the popular idea that certain people are born with natural talents, be it art, music, athletics, or leadership. Rather, the most reliable predictor of exceptional performance in any field is the amount of practice one engages in, or more precisely, the amount and kind of practice one engages in, what researchers call deliberate practice.

Deliberate practice is working on specific areas of performance in precise ways. This kind of practice is often done alone and requires intense concentration. For example, a guitarist who plays the same song from start to finish is practicing, but not in a deliberate sense. Deliberate practice, in this example, might entail working on the transition from the D chord to the G chord and making sure that the change happens with the whole structure of the hand rather than one finger at a time. Another example is the basketball player who shoots everyday as practice, just moving from spot to spot. Deliberate practice in this example of improving shooting accuracy might include making sure the elbow is aligned correctly and that the index and middle fingers guide the release to create the right backspin on the ball.

Both of these examples illustrate that deliberate practice requires much more thought, precision, and concentrated attention. This kind of practice (and lots of it) is what makes for exceptional performances. As I mentioned in a letter last summer, the research agrees that it takes roughly 10,000 hours of practice to achieve mastery in any particular area. (Or as researchers say: 4-6-10. That is, four hours a day, six days a week, for ten years.)

Deliberate practice is a learned skill. It requires specific feedback delivered in a way that students can hear. That is, it must be supportive while also pointing out how to improve. As parents and guardians, whether we realize it or not, we have numerous opportunities each week to teach our children about deliberate practice. Whether it is in kicking a soccer ball, doing a math problem, sounding out a new word, understanding grammar, or working on a dance routine, we can guide our children towards learning the value of deliberate practice with our feedback.

“I like the way the joy of the music comes through you as you dance…the only place I see it waver is when you do the spin. Want to try just the spin a few times?” Some kids will take you up on this offer, others will not. No matter whether they act on your suggestion, just by being precise in a supportive way you are pointing out the path to more deliberate practice. This is also where you have to trust that, when the time is right, they will pick up on all those “lessons” you thought they missed, and they will, eventually. That is, and this is huge, if you push your feedback too hard it becomes a power struggle, in which case the lesson is lost. So, when in doubt, say less.

The goal of introducing kids to deliberate practice is not to make every child an exceptional performer, rather it is to equip them with the tools to achieve better (maybe even exceptional) performance when they discover the areas that ignite their passions and inspire them.

Welcome back!

Mike

 

January 16, 2009

As RDS continues to refine our place in the East Bay world of independent schools, the word that keeps coming up is “interdependence.” Rather than simply being a great independent school in Oakland, RDS is striving to become a great school that is an integral part of the East Bay, such that we both come to depend on and learn from each other.

This is most obvious in how we have shifted some of our service learning and community service components. In the lower school, for instance, we have worked closely with Good Cents to support different East Bay agencies over the past couple of years: the SPCA (www.eastbayspca.org) two years ago and Oakland Technology Exchange West (www.otxwest.org) last year. In the middle school, each grade this year has already done a clean-up of the Berkeley Marina. In addition, each grade will be spending a day at the San Francisco Food Bank as volunteers and to understand the science of food production and the math of efficient food distribution. Over the last couple of years, the School has also donated library books to neighborhood schools, worked to clean up Lake Merritt, collected food and winter coats, and even collected used sneakers for recycling.

In addition, in the last couple of years we have chosen to honor the faculty/staff during the holiday season with donations -- to Heifer International last year and this year, closer to home, to Oakland Fire Department’s Random Acts. We have also contributed to Good Cents.

As you can see, over time the focus has become more local with a goal of having a greater impact on and connection to the East Bay.

In our various expert presentations to parents and guardians, we have opened and designed many events to and for the greater East Bay community. We host the K Conference each spring, which focuses on the transition from pre-school to kindergarten, specifically the developmental changes in children and the subsequent changes in the classroom and in the home. Just last week we hosted our first College Admissions Panel, with Admissions Directors and personnel from UC Davis, Stanford, St. Mary’s College, Northeastern University, and Goucher College. The crowd was comprised mostly of parents and students from Oakland and Berkeley. Earlier in the year we hosted Emergent Thoughts, a night focused on the latest developments and research on high school education. In addition, for the past three years, the RDSPA has coordinated Parent University, which we open to the entire East Bay community. We are becoming known as an educational resource for parents and guardians in the East Bay.

We do all this with a goal of even more interdependence, largely because we want a true give-and-take relationship with the community from which we have grown and continue to grow. We know that with more knowledge people make informed decisions in their lives and with their children, which makes the RDS community, and the entire East Bay, stronger.

Have a great weekend.

Mike

 

December 12, 2008

As the students remind me on a regular basis, Holiday Break is just a week away. In families and in schools, this time of year generates lots of excitement and anticipation: staying up late and sleeping in, play dates, visiting and/or visitors, movies, wonderful food, and most of all, lots of fun. The excitement on campus this time of year is palpable. We are all looking forward to the holidays and a break from our normal routines—faculty/staff and students alike.

The holidays for many are also a time for exchanging gifts, whether it is Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanzaa, the exchange of presents is often involved in some way or another. For some it means making lists and hoping to get a few of your top choices. Others like to be surprised. In the gift- giving category, some want to get you what you want while others want to give you what they want to give you. And some make gifts with each recipient in mind. Regardless, thoughtful gifts that are exchanged with care are incredibly meaningful to us all….. And while I could go on about this exchange, I want to take an abrupt turn.

During this Holiday Break, despite the lists and the pleas for this new toy or that new game, remember that the most cherished gifts you can give your children this season are what they can’t quite voice: your time and your attention. That’s all they really want. It’s all they really care about. When they muss and fuss, are extraordinarily needy, regress in shocking ways, or prod siblings beyond belief, take a deep breath before joining in the anger/frustration dance. Most of the time what they are after is your attention and presence.

In other words, don’t get so focused on the end result this holiday season—the gourmet dinners or the perfect presents—that you lose sight of how you get there. That is, the best moments often happen when you are betwixt and between: standing in line together at Target; shopping in the grocery store; trying a new recipe for chocolate chip cookies; taking a leisurely walk around the neighborhood. Don’t miss these moments because you are too focused on the future. In fact, be on the lookout for these moments—they abound during the holiday season. And our students, your children, cherish these moments more than their words can ever express.

Have a great Weekend

Mike

December 4, 2008

In these past few weeks, we have been privileged to have an unusually large number of student performances. From the silly to the inspiring - it’s all been wonderful.

We have had two Lower School talent shows (two because of the large number of students who wanted to perform) and witnessed an incredible array of talent: jump roping to making funny faces; instrumentals to lip synching; breaking boards to singing while hopping on one foot; roaring like a tiger to original musical compositions. A couple of weeks ago, the middle school presented the Book Bug Boogie, that included a scene from Hamlet, an improvisational piece, an original song, and editorials on some of the books for sale at the Book Fair.

There is no doubt that talent and the desire to share that talent resides in abundance at RDS. Two weeks ago, middle school students and their drama teacher Vince Faso put on a production of Hamlet. Students transformed the MS Multi-Purpose Room into a theater, and anyone who saw the show was both impressed and inspired by their production. From acting, to set design, to stage management: students were firing on all cylinders.

This recent outburst of performance led me to reflect on just what is happening at RDS, and for me, it’s as much about the risks kids are taking as it is about the actual performances. That is, why are our students so able and willing to get up in front of their peers and teachers and perform? Is it because we just happen to have an unusually talented student body? While that may be true, I don’t think it explains the phenomenon. As I wrestled with this question, I came upon the obvious solution that was staring me in the face from the start: the RDS teachers. More specifically, the relationship our teachers forge with your children.

Our faculty are not only terrific teachers in their areas of expertise, they are also finely skilled at connecting to their students and exerting their influence in some profound, subtle, and growth- instigating ways. For instance, they know what to say to the student who is quietly considering taking a risk and they know when and how to say it. They also know when to push, when to encourage, and when to back off -- all skills that grow from knowing and paying keen attention to their students.

I know this because often when students take risks and perform, I notice at least one of their teachers or coaches perk up, and at some point during or just after the piece, make a profound type of eye contact with their student. More than an “I see you” connection; more like “I see who you are becoming” connection. Even deeper, the eyes of your children say right back to their teacher, “Thanks, I know.” This, of course, is when eyes glisten, chins quiver, and students grow.

So the next time your child takes an unexpected risk or makes a leap in growth, be on the lookout for the teacher or coach with the misty eyes, and if you spot him or her be sure to acknowledge what they have done. This kind of recognition completes the circle and fuels our teachers and staff to continue inspiring our students’ growth in myriad ways.

And if you are in the mood for an inspiring RDS performance this weekend, remember that our jazz and rock bands are playing in Jack London Square on Sunday at Barnes & Noble as part of a fundraiser for the Student Exchange Program (SEP). While you’re there, be sure to buy some books if you can; a minimum 10% of sales go to SEP.

Have a great weekend.

Mike

Today's guest writer is Meredith Spencer, Director of Enrichment & After-School Programs

November 19, 2008

As the school day winds down, X-Care revs into high gear from 2:30 p.m.-3:00 p.m. as we prepare the day’s activities and snacks and await dismissal. The lower school multi-purpose room is a whirlwind of activity from 3:00 p.m.-3:30 p.m.; some might even call it chaotic, but for me, it remains one of my favorite times of day. When kindergarteners burst onto the scene, they are so full of excitement and joy that even the most trying of days takes an immediate turn for the better. The once quiet, painfully shy students who needed guidance transitioning from school-day to after-school in September, have become boisterous experts, navigating their way through the after-school routine. Watching their growth over this brief period is incredible.

As the grades file in, I get the opportunity to check in with students and receive updates about their day. From excitement over losing a tooth or celebrating a birthday, to sharing interesting facts learned that day, their stomachs are grumbling and they are ready for first snack (crackers or fruit) and eager to get their afternoon play started. The whiteboard lists what’s happening and what will be offered for second snack (the most important aspect of X-Care for students!). After check-in is finished, activity clubs, enrichment classes and study hall are announced and the intensity of the past half-hour dies down a little as kids disperse until second snack is served. Many students remain in the multi-purpose room to play card or board games, draw, make paper airplanes, assemble Legos or prepare snack, so the room is always buzzing with activity.

Each member of our talented staff brings a unique skill set to the extended care team and enables us to offer a variety of stimulating, fun activities for your children. I want to introduce them and encourage you to take a moment during pick-up to meet them. Robert Dinh, Kathy Ma, Rochelle Rainey returned to RDS for their 2nd year, Ruby Rogers and Yannira Toscano for their 3rd year, and new to RDS this year are Sara Baker, Latifa Cleveland, Meredith Macleod and Jennifer Padilla. Robert and Kathy are our resident sports enthusiasts and can often be seen playing baseball, basketball and football along with other team sports on the playground and Back-40. Both are also amazing cooks and have prepared many delicious snacks for X-Care.

In addition to free play and enrichment classes, daily activity clubs are offered every two months, led by X-Care staff. These classes are offered free of charge to kids who are enrolled in X-Care. We kicked off the first rotation with: Story Telling Club for grades K-2, Monster Sewing Club for grades 3-5, Cooking Club for grades 2-5, Sports Club for grades 5-8, and Journaling Club in X-Plus for grades 6-8. Students in Cooking Club had the opportunity to make culinary delights for everyone to enjoy including: bruschetta, spinach & artichoke dip, fruit tarts, pizza, wontons, fish ‘n chips, toasted sandwiches and tostadas. Our second rotation of activity clubs started in November and includes: Cooking Club for grades 2-5, Costume Club for grades K-5, Monster Sewing Club for grades K-3, Journaling Club for grades 6-8, and Movement for grades K-2. If your child is interested in any of these clubs, please encourage her/him to participate. Clubs usually run from 3:30-4:30 on the scheduled day and we also offer clubs during In-Service days when school is closed and X-Care is open.

See you around the playground,

Meredith Spencer
Director of Enrichment & After-School Programs

November 7, 2008

For the past four years, I have had gym duty every Thursday, and it has grown into one of my favorite times of the week. Each week, middle school students are anxiously waiting at the door, waiting for the welcome wave, at which point they burst into the gym at full speed. No such thing as a warm-up. Much more like a cheetah that hits full speed in three strides. And here’s a big hint as to why I enjoy this duty so much: when the kids burst into the gym, more often than not they don’t have a destination in mind. They are simply running to run. And always with smiles, laughter, and some gentle jostling back and forth.

This is middle school play at its best. During this twenty-minute free period, multiple games are played, simultaneously: basketball, soccer, dodge ball, wall ball, volleyball, jump rope, and tag. I think of it as organized chaos. And the organizing factors are fun and play. Rules are unimportant. For instance, in basketball, the out-of-bounds lines are ignored and people walking or running through the game are simply avoided—or not. And even if someone does take a fall, 98% of the time they are back up on their feet within seconds, and always with a huge smile on their faces.

Teams are divided up randomly such that athletes and non-athletes, boys and girls, all participate. After all, when the goal is fun and play, being the best isn’t the determining factor to sides and who is invited to play or not. And people join in and exit games as they choose—usually when there is more fun to be had elsewhere.

There is also a critical social factor to this play. Who sits with whom while ostensibly watching others play, but really working at securing their social spot with a group of friends. There is also the question of where you have your conversations with one another. Many happen in the bleachers, but just as many take place sitting on a pile of mats in the corner or standing in a circle at midcourt. So at times the social goal is to create new connections and strengthen others, while at other times it is to be seen with a certain group of peers—hence having the conversation at midcourt.

Of course there are also the intermittent flare-ups, when someone bumps a little too hard or when words shift from joking to teasing. In these cases, seldom does the adult have to intervene directly. Typically the students resolve the issue quickly and get back to the play at hand. And when they get stuck, a raised eyebrow or walk in their general direction usually suffices.

Over the years, I have also watched as lower school students make the transition into middle school, and specifically into the gym on Thursdays. It’s a rite of passage, of sorts. For example, there are the explicit rules: no eating, no hitting, etc.; but it’s more the implicit rules they struggle to comprehend: do you need permission to join an ongoing game? Can a sixth grader play with a seventh or eighth grader? Do you have to be good at sports to play? They all figure it out without anybody having to explain the hidden rules to them, and here I get to watch their social acuity and awareness develops right in front of my eyes.

Given the normal hyper self-consciousness that develops in middle school students, this daily twenty-minute reprieve is welcomed by all with open arms. And it is at times like this that we get to see the free-spirited child within our students unleashed in full glory.

As a Head of School who also trained as a developmental psychologist, gym duty is about as good as it gets. So next Thursday when you sit down to lunch think about me in the gym, with a big smile on my face watching your kids play and grow.

Have a great weekend!

Mike

 

March 2, 2007

A couple of years ago, I wrote a Friday Folder entitled "Rethinking Praise" (January 28, 2005) in which I cautioned against unwarranted praise. I pointed out how this kind of praise erodes trust in the parent-child relationship and/or teaches kids to discount their own internal compass about what is right or wrong for them.  In lieu of praise, I suggested it is better to focus on engagement.

During the recent break, Margaret Miura, our Lower School Learning Specialist, forwarded me an article by Po Bronson in New York Magazine (February 19, 2007): "How Not to Talk to Your Kids." It is a great article and worth reading. In particular, there are nine paragraphs describing the research of Carol Dweck that I found so compelling that I am reprinting it here for all to read. Dweck, a Stanford professor, is the author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Her research clearly takes what I wrote about praise a step further.  Here is the excerpt from Bronson’s article:

"Dweck sent four female research assistants into New York fifth-grade classrooms. The researchers would take a single child out of the classroom for a nonverbal IQ test consisting of a series of puzzles -- puzzles easy enough that all the children would do fairly well. Once the child finished the test, the researchers told each student his score, then gave him a single line of praise. Randomly divided into groups, some were praised for their intelligence. They were told, “You must be smart at this.” Other students were praised for their effort: “You must have worked really hard.”

Why just a single line of praise? “We wanted to see how sensitive children were,” Dweck explained. “We had a hunch that one line might be enough to see an effect.”

Then the students were given a choice of test for the second round. One choice was a test that would be more difficult than the first, but the researchers told the kids that they’d learn a lot from attempting the puzzles. The other choice, Dweck’s team explained, was an easy test, just like the first. Of those praised for their effort, 90 percent chose the harder set of puzzles. Of those praised for their intelligence, a majority chose the easy test. The “smart” kids took the cop-out.

Why did this happen? “When we praise children for their intelligence,” Dweck wrote in her study summary, “we tell them that this is the name of the game: Look smart, don’t risk making mistakes.” And that’s what the fifth-graders had done: They’d chosen to look smart and avoid the risk of being embarrassed.

In a subsequent round, none of the fifth-graders had a choice. The test was difficult, designed for kids two years ahead of their grade level.  Predictably, everyone failed. But again, the two groups of children, divided at random at the study’s start, responded differently. Those praised for their effort on the first test assumed they simply hadn’t focused hard enough on this test. “They got very involved, willing to try every solution to the puzzles,” Dweck recalled. “Many of them remarked, unprovoked, ‘This is my favorite test.’” Not so for those praised for their smarts. They assumed their failure was evidence that they weren’t really smart at all. “Just watching them, you could see the strain. They were sweating and miserable.”

Having artificially induced a round of failure, Dweck’s researchers then gave all the fifth-graders a final round of tests that were engineered to be as easy as the first round. Those who had been praised for their effort significantly improved on their first score—by about 30 percent. Those who’d been told they were smart did worse than they had at the very beginning—by about 20 percent.

Dweck had suspected that praise could backfire, but even she was surprised by the magnitude of the effect. “Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control,” she explains. “They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”

In follow-up interviews, Dweck discovered that those who think that innate intelligence is the key to success begin to discount the importance of effort. I am smart, the kids’ reasoning goes; I don’t need to put out effort. Expending effort becomes stigmatized—it’s public proof that you can’t cut it on your natural gifts.

Repeating her experiments, Dweck found this effect of praise on performance held true for students of every socioeconomic class. It hit both boys and girls—the very brightest girls especially (they collapsed the most following failure). Even preschoolers weren’t immune to the inverse power of praise."

Talk about the zen of parenting!  If you want your kids to feel smart, stop telling them they are smart and instead recognize their efforts, regardless of the outcomes.  Or, in the vernacular of RDS: Focusing on their efforts keeps them engaged, which prepares them to deal with difficult problems and situations, which ultimately lays the ground for inspiring acts, insights, and character.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Mike